28 October 2011

Loving Poo and Stuff

My day did not really get off to a great start.
Things began to go pear-shaped when we couldn't find Scrag's balance bike minutes before I was due at the corner for my Walking Bus Duty.
After Miss Fab changed her shoes twice at the last minute the final nail was in the coffin. We were so late I missed the Bus. Shame.
Growling and scolding I drove the kids to school. Miss Fab was weeping on the back seat.
To make up for my growliness I agreed to park the car and walk her into her classroom.
Cheered, she took Scrag to play on the playground while I went to see Dash's teacher.

A stray soccer ball rolled towards me. I wish I had let it be.
But instead I went to kick it casually back... tripped over it with my two left feet and faceplanted right in front of twenty of Dash's schoolmates.
A bad word slipped out. {Don't worry it was only "S**T"}
My knee stung, my palm was scraped. My pride was wounded.
I stood up, brushing myself off. Embarrassed but pretending not to be.
Until I looked up... and came face to face with The Principal.

Yeah, not a great start to the day.
So I am due a dose of Love and Gratitude.
A growly cursing clumsy mother with a house full of unmade beds and dirty dishes.
That's me!

So what good things have I got to be thankful for today?

Thankful for Poo.
Yes I am. A poo just made my week, actually.
If you've been reading me for a while, you'll know that my three-and-a-half year old giant son Scrag has refused point blank to be toilet-trained. No matter what we did. Even Grandma couldn't get him to cooperate.
So yesterday I am in the dining room holding an icepack to Miss Fab's injured head (after she landed on it when she fell out of a tree) when I heard noises in the toilet.
Which usually means that Scrag is helpfully "cleaning" it, or playing "Flush the dunny paper".
"What are you doing in the toilet, Scrag?" I call.
"DOING A POO!" he calls back.
Say whaaaaat?
Next thing I hear "PLOP".
The most beautiful sound in the world.
He really was doing a poo. In the loo. Just like that.
He has finally decided to be a big boy and is right now wearing undies.

Loving the Inappropriate.
I just have to tell you this one.

The Scene: Dining Room, Breakfast.

DASH: Mum did you know that In the Night Garden is not appropriate for little children?
MISS FAB: Yeah Mum, its not, honest. Because Upsy Daisy kisses Iggle Piggle on the lips. That's just not right.
ME: Well maybe they are like, brother and sister?
DASH: No mum they're not. They look totally different. Iggle Piggle is blue and he sleeps in a boat.
MISS FAB: Yeah and Upsy Daisy is brown with rainbow hair and she sleeps in a bed, so they are not brother and sister and they shouldn't be kissing. Its just not appropriate for little kids!

Not appropriate. Hehe.

Loving Pinboards. And Bear Grylls. And Parties.
Been sucked into Pinterest yet? It is addictive, but in a good way.
Its not necessarily (just) a time waster. It can be a force for good.
Like my Survival Party Pinboard. I am collecting ideas for Dash's Bear Grylls: Boy vs Wild party next month. A Pinterest Party Board is a fab way to collate ideas.
I have also been loving creating a Bear Grylls party website. Collecting clips of Bear for use at Dash's party. The plan is to use the laptop on a wireless connection and play the boys the clips before they have to do crazy stuff like eat worms. Hehe. Not really.
Anyway you should totally check out my new website with all the Bear Grylls clips. I even found a whole episode of Bear in New Zealand. He so rocks. This is going to be a crazy party!

Terrified of the Tweens.
My child is going to officially be a Tween in less than a month. Nine years old.
I am totally freaking out. Totally questioning my parenting.
Worried that we have made so many mistakes with this boy. Worried that we are running out of time.
Anyone else know what I mean? Any words of advice for this terrified mother of an almost-tween?

Right. That's all I got time for.
I have a friend dropping off her daughter in ten minutes.
I have a beginner toilet-pooer in undies.
I have things to do.

But mostly I am really really glad to be home.
And linking up with my two favourite feel-good linkies...


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Widge said...

oh my goodness! that SUX you tripped over!!! I had my mouth open wide reading that HORRIFIED for you. awww xoxoxox

yay Scrag!

and my kids never got into the iggy piggy thing/programme, too old for it I suppose as the older runs rule the box. funny how they have assessed it though!

Anonymous said...

i loved reading your post. i cant believe you tripped over, that would have to be my worst nightmare.

i am feeling you on the poo story.
i am battling with my 3 year old in regards to toilet training and i am just about pulling my hair out with him, fingers crossed he one day just up and decides to be a big boy too and use the loo :)

Ms. Kate said...

Thank you for making me giggle with your inappropriate story. I'll have to tell my nephew who absolutely adores iggle piggle. <3 Great list!

Jen said...

poor you after your fall
hoping your ok now

yaye for Scrag :)

lol love your story about your older 2

i like pinterest :)

just worked out who Bear Grylls is
only saw his programme when i was at my sisters last weekend

im sure the tween years will be ok
just remember what bad things they could be into and then hopefully youll thank God they your kids into them

Angela said...

Oh no, I can only begin to imagine how the tripping incident felt for you - because I know you are sensitive with many eyes on you already. I'm not sure how I'd react. Having taught kids that age, and having messed up plenty, I know how I reacted THEN (repeated the thing I did again on purpose most often, and then went over the top with a slapstick act)...but it's different when it's *your* kids and their principal!

Okay, now to the poo. Again, I can only BEGIN to fathom how big a deal this felt when you heard that sound! I was SOOOOO over the moon when Esky finally landed a torpedo in the right hole, and she's my FIRST! You must have been so emotionally over it. *HUGS* for all the waiting and tongue-biting you've done.

NIXNAX said...

I am so happy for you to get a poo on a really crappy day, sorry had to throw that in. I too have a 3 yr old who is refusing so i know this is a yahoo moment for you.

count it all joy said...

Oh Simoney...I just laughed till I cried...this post just got funnier and funnier.

Just to clarify..laughing with you, not AT you. Okay, maybe just a little bit at you. You had me at "poo".

Love that the headmaster witnessed your golden moment. That made it art. Big love and hugs to you gorgeous girl. Meredy xo

Leonie said...

totally laughing with you Simone! especially after my own face plant this week.... but I managed to avoid the Principal (hehe)

Loving the POO!

and yes, I totally get you about the tween thing. Totally.

Anonymous said...

OMGOLLY!! This blog post title, hands down most awesome thing I have read all week!! I actually think it will be the thing I am most thankful for in next weeks link up lol, real stink about the fall though, hopefully you can laugh about it next week??? Thanks so much for a great read, I really felt like I was reliving all that with you :)

Maxabella said...

Yay, a poo! Let the blogs rejoice!! I TOTALLY get your joy.

And that's a top shot at the top too. Love your work, Simoney. x

Rebecca said...

Sooo funny, even though it wouldn't of been for you at the time!! The party looks like it's gonna be a good one alright!

Mum on the Run said...

They're some great gratefuls there.
Never underestimate the power of (appropriately located) poo!
I had me a little poo dance when my Magoo decided to get with the programme too.

Tall Pipi said...

Tripping over just sucks! I hope the principal was offering Love and Grace. Your kids crack me up. I teach Year 3/4 so I totally get what they mean! Such a funny age. Tweens? I'm scared of them but I have a friend with a tween and he is just totally fighting for more and more independence so I reckon the key is to loosen the boundaries slightly but still keeping careful watch cos they still need to know you are there. I think the best book I would recommend is "He'll be okay" By Celia Lashlie. Ultimate woman. (You have probably already been there, done that). Hope the day got better.

Nikki said...

Hehe go Scrag!I remember toilet training kids at my old work, and it was such a nice surprise when after all your hard work they'd call out asking for help cos they'd taken themselves to the loo!


Mrs M said...

it's funny what we get excited about when we become paretns.
Here is hoping to the start of a good toilet visitor.

Laura said...

i just left widge and her crap to find you and your poo!
love it!

ju said...

Love it!! Your blog always brightens my day, Glad you're home safe, don't think I could brave a trip quite like yours yet tee hee! Heading in to town for a show today was quite enough for me!! And with the extra bloggin time at our place, I have created one for kids church and now hubbies into it to soooooooooo I guess I really should be getting to bed!

PaisleyJade said...

I've finally had a moment to sit down and catch up on my favourite bloggers. So sorry to hear about you tripping over!!! Ouch! LOVE that scrag is using the loo!!!

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