30 October 2013
If you're wondering where I am... I'm here.
But not quite "all there", if you know what I mean?
A few things are doing my head in, so hold onto your seatbelts here comes a blethering rant, if you can handle it.
Firstly, my stupid camera has malfunctioned and I am beyond frustrated.
I have a hundred beautiful photos of an epic family day horseriding which are stuck on the camera. Which freezes and makes everything crash. And then my computer tells me there ARE no photos on the camera, when I can plainly see that there ARE.
Beautiful ones of horses, a farm, my kids riding ponies.
I am beyond ticked.
And secondly? I'm kind of getting frustrated with the whole blogging palaver.
I saw a graphic the other day which was "What to do once you publish your post".
There had to have been fifty things on there to do.
SEO and social media and promoting your post here there and flippin everywhere.
I'm not in favour of writing those "I'm sick of blogging and don't know if I should continue" posts; I'm not sick of blogging. I'm sick of all the other stuff you seem to have to do these days to try and get your post "seen".
All I want to do is write. Share stories. Take photos. Connect.
All the other stuff is robbing the joy, to be honest.
But if I don't put myself out there on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/G+ etc etc then what?
If I can't get my post "reach" up (on Facebook) then what?
OK, Simoney, what's the worst that can happen? Will the world end?
Will my blog explode?
What did I used to do?
I would write a post, stick in some half-decent photos, hit publish and walk away.
Oh the innocence of those bygone days.
Where is all this pressure coming from?
Is it external or internal? Is it an outside pressure to grow numbers and gain readers - or is it coming from within me? Some lack inside me that pushes me to be significant?
Coming back to why I do this, why I blog, what I started it all for - none of that has changed.
I have something to say, things to share, a voice which aches to be heard.
I love nothing better than encouraging someone else, helping someone else gain confidence, or at least know they're not alone.
Of course I want comments, I crave feedback, I want to know that people are out there reading what I'm labouring over to create and finding it worthwhile.
And of course I would like to reach more people, grow my readership, expand my influence.
But why? So I get more pageclicks, so that brands will work with me and I'll make some money?
I enjoyed doing the Spring Declutter because it made sense for my life, it benefitted my family, and it it was useful/inspiring/helpful for my readers. I'm excited to have a party partner on board to help reduce the financial cost of the parties I love to create.
But I'd be doing those projects anyway, with or without partners. I'd be sharing those stories, writing those posts either way.
And I'm not pimping my blog out to anyone who offers me a reciprocal link. I don't want this space to become commercial.
This blog is like a home to me. I've put my heart into it.
In the same way I wouldn't let Telecom build a cellphone tower in my backyard or Bunnings put a billboard on my front lawn, I don't want this blog to become a "for-money" operation.
So the pressure is not because I want to make money.
Actually I think what it might be is this: I do get a teensy bit jealous when I see posts go viral.
There I said it.
I start wishing people would share/like/comment on some of the awesome stuff I've written (increasing my reach, so it would go viral... oh the depths we sink to).
Then I start to doubt myself. Maybe my stuff is not that awesome? Maybe it's not WORTH sharing?
And there we have it. That underlying self-doubt that makes you crave approval.
What do I do with that?
Can I blog purely for myself and a few loyal readers who get me (and the other bunch of randoms who find my parties on Pinterest?)
Do I give up on trying to crack the Facebook Reach Algorithm? Stop trying to work out which gets the better "reach" ("link in comments" or just plain links? Photos or Photo Albums?).
Do I stop hoping that people will "interact" with my posts on Facebook so Facebook will let more of my Facebook likers actually see the post links in their feed? (It's a mission I tell you. Why can't Facebook just let ALL the people who have signed up to follow me on Facebook see my posts??? Why do we have to jump through all these hoops endlessly and forever???)
Do I stop trying to do all the things "they tell you" on infographics, once you've hit "publish" and just... write. Will anybody find me, read me still?
Gah, I'm blowed if I know.
If you're a blogger, what do YOU do? If you're not a blogger, how do you usually find/read my new posts?
P.S. Thanks for all the lovely comments. I have sorted the photo/camera issue by taking the camera into a shop and getting them to put the photos onto a USB stick. Photos saved, hurrah. And for those of you feeling similar to what I have expressed here about "the new blogging" Maxabella's latest post is a gem: The FIFO Approach to the New Blogging. Let's start a FIFO revolution, I say.