11 June 2010

Party Linky - Link up your Parties!


It was late at night. All the kidlets were tucked up in bed and I was on the loo (er, sorry, TMI??) when I had a sudden flash of inspiration for the weekend in Blogland.

A Party Party.

You know I love kids parties (if you didn't, where have you been??)

There's been...


My three kids are conveniently spaced thoughout the year with four months between each birthday - no I didn't plan it that way! We have a rule: no talking about your birthday party until after the person before you has had theirs (otherwise my kids would start talking about their next party before we have finished cleaning up from their last one; they look forward to their birthdays all year long!)

Now I'm in the process of planning my daughter's sixth birthday party for next month; "A Rather Fancy Sleepover" for three of her closest little friends. Think Fancy Nancy and lots of Dressing Up. (do you like the photos of what I've found so far at the Salvation Army store...? Bargains for $1 or .50c!)

But now I want to hear from you. I want to check out your parties; read your party posts, see your cool party ideas... so I'm adding a Party Linky at the bottom of here and putting the ball in your court.

Link up to party posts you've done previously. Link up as many of your parties as you want (make sure you link to the post, not just your main blog). It doesn't have to be a whole party; it could be just how you made a fab cake...


I love to meet other party-mad mothers and I'll bet there's a bunch of others would love to check out your fun ideas and creativity...

Here's the RATHER FANCY SLEEPOVER post...

I hope you join in the Party {link up below}







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10 June 2010

Wake Up Call



This is me giving myself a kick and a pinch. This is me feeling aghast and embarrassed. This is me the day after parent-teacher interviews...

My kid is the Class Clown.

Remember those boys?? There was one in every class I was ever in. They were silly and funny and made everybody laugh; but they were always getting told off by the teacher and their schoolwork was a mess.

That's my boy.

Last week the pre-parent-teacher-conference reports came home. And the format has changed (which is partly why all this has come as something of a shock).

Before, the reports told you next to nothing.
"He is working on numeracy stage 3..."; "He is outgoing and well-liked..."
All very pleasant.
Easy to think Numeracy Stage 3 is fine when the teacher is smiling at you and asking if you have any questions... And if you asked, "Where should he be???" they'd just keep on smilin' and say, "He's doing fine."

For whatever reason, our school has decided to drop all this PC crap, and finally tell us what's what...

"He's at Numeracy Level 3 - and he should be at Level 4 or 5 for his age; he's below average..."

"He is well liked and outgoing - to the point where he has had to be separated from the other boys and now sits beside the brainiest girl we could find..."

The class clown.


Now that doesn't mean that the teacher thinks he's a bad kid. Not at all.

His teacher said (and I quote): "He's got a heart of gold, super-sincere, very polite, caring and socially confident..." Wowee! I should be turning cartwheels. And I am proud of him for that.

I'm also proud of the fact that he is reading at his correct age level; he is enjoying reading and beginning to read for fun. Phew. That's a big thing.

And his maths has improved greatly - he's gone from being Level 3 (and in learning support) to being Level four and even five in some areas, which is right where he should be. Good Progress. Well done there, Dash.

But. But. But. He gets distracted constantly. (No, he is not ADHD, thanks!) His written work is messy and rushed and he often doesn't finish it(groan).
He clowns around to get laughs. The teacher can be having fun with the class (which he does often, because he is a really cool, fun teacher), but then it's over and time to work... but my kid is still carrying on being silly. He doesn't know when to stop.

Mr G whispered to me last night in bed, "He gets that from me you know..."

Hmmmm. Yes, well I knew he didn't get it from me!! I was the brainy nerd girl in class who always had to sit next to the silly boys to get them to calm down. My reports never had anything less than "excellent" "responsible" "diligent" and "a pleasure to teach". Nerd girl, me.


So I have just been coasting along assuming that my kids are fine at school. Assuming that when he told me he had no reading/homework/spelling tonight that he was telling the truth... Letting them take the walking bus to and from school every day (how convenient!) Hardly ever putting in an appearance (justifying it with, hey, that's how things were when I was a kid...I don't remember mum or dad ever coming to school for parent help or walking us into the classroom...)

My kid is uber-sporty, ultra-competitive, fun-loving and just a little bit crazy.
He's not slow, but he is a kid who is going to have to work hard to do well, he can't coast along and be OK.
And now he's seven. the days for endless playing and class-clowning are over.
For me too. I can't spend all my days playing here on the computer. I'm going to have to leave the house and get involved.

I'm going to have to spend my afternoons and evenings hearing reading, giving spelling tests, setting written assignments and staying on his case.
We are working on a plan, between us and his teacher, to get him on a better path.


That means my head has to be in the game. I can't be there-but-not-there, if you know what I mean?

I'm a typical extremist; when I'm passionate about something, it's all I can think about. So when it comes to blogging, increasing readership, writing a book... that's where my mind is. The other stuff gets done in a fog. Shame.

(gritting teeth) So I am going to have to cut back on blogging.

Waaaaaahhhh!!!

Cut back, I said, not stop. I've been posting nearly every day lately... that must come to an end.

Must. Work. Smarter.
Must pour my creative energies into ensuring that my kids don't stumble in these crucial early years at school. I'm shaking my head at myself right now. I've had my head in the clouds.

So if you see me posting here more than 3-4 times a week, give me a kick in the pants wouldya??

(now I'm off to go make up a homework chart...)
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Ten Worst Mothering Moments {and what I learnt from them}


I've picked ten of my Worst Mothering Moments for your reading pleasure, to remind you that even on your worst days you are not alone! Here they are in no particular order...

1. The Thump and the Scream
When Dash was three, our playroom had a little playhouse inside and adventurous Dash loved to climb on its roof, by means of a chair. Seeing the potential for disaster I moved the chair away - far enough (I thought) so little sister couldn’t climb up... but no. I leave the room for a second and hear the sickening thump... a pause... the blood-curdling scream.
Racing inside I see my 18-month-old daughter prone on the floor, her arm outstretched and bent in the middle. It’s so obvious that it's broken. This is a bad moment. I am alone in the house with two toddlers; I can’t get through to my husband. I try to get my screaming daughter into the car without hurting her more; try to break landspeed records through rush-hour traffic to get her to the A&E; then we wait two days in the hospital for them to operate on her arm...

WHAT I LEARNT: Try as you may, you can never fully protect your kids from mishaps. And ambulances get through rush hour traffic much faster than regular vehicles.


2. The Double Cast Girl
Miss Fab is all decked out with a fluoro pink cast on her broken wing when she skids on the shiny polished floor of a community hall. Limping, she tries to walk, but her leg gives way and she sobs in pain. Off to A&E we go again. They remember her from three weeks ago and call her by name. The x-ray shows nothing.
Two days later she still can't walk properly. Back at A&E a different doctor looks at the x-rays and decides that as a precaution we will put a matching pink cast on her leg. This worst mothering moment lasts two weeks. I try to avoid going out in public with my double-casted daughter. I try to avoid the stares and tut-tuts. What kind of mother lets her baby girl get two broken limbs??? Shame. It wasn't broken. But we still had two weeks double-casted.

WHAT I LEARNT: Judge not, lest ye be judged! Just because a kid has two broken limbs doesn’t mean there isn’t a very good explanation. (And lugging a toddler with two casts gives you a wicked backache!)



3. The Runaway
Not long after Dash started school his behaviour took a sudden turn for the worse - daily meltdowns and tears, defiant and uncooperative behaviour. It all came to a head when my five-year-old announced that he wanted a different family, he hated us and he was leaving home. Marching down the hallway with his backpack, he demanded that Daddy take him to the bus stop. He was off to go and live with Grandma in England.

Now I can see the funny side and I know that most kids have a turn at wanting to run away... but at that moment I was devastated. My kid says he hates us! He's so miserable that he's trying to run away! (I am a failure as a parent).
My hubby decided to call Dash’s bluff and agreed to drive him to the bus stop. By now it was raining and dark. Daddy explained that the bus might not come for a while, and Dash may have to sleep there. "We don't want you to leave, son, but if that's what you want..." Daddy said, holding the car door open to the black wet night. The little boy burst into tears and cried, "I don't want to go but I'm just so saaaaad!"
Wise daddy took the sad little boy for a milkshake and the story poured out (his best friend had moved to live in Australia. Dash was heartbroken and lost without him at school). By the time they returned Dash ws his old self again. But that hour and a half waiting for them to return was one of the longest I've ever spent.


WHAT I LEARNT: Sometimes Daddy knows best. And when push comes to shove five year olds don’t really want to run away (at least not on dark rainy nights).  
  

4. Reality Bites
It's November 2002 and I am a brand new mummy. At home with my baby, I am one big ball of pain. Everything hurts. Every bone in my body is aching with a level of tiredness I never imagined... all I want to do is go to bed and sleep for ten days.
But I can't. Because I am now a Mother. The weight of that responsibility descends upon me like a ton of bricks. This is it now for me forever. I am sick, I am tired, I am in agony, but I still have to put my baby first. He must still be fed from these painful breasts, he must be changed and cuddled and rocked and loved no matter how I feel. What a long black moment for me when the Weight of Mothering landed on me.

WHAT I LEARNT: Mothering is harder than it looks.





5. The Little Vampire
Let me introduce you to my little baby vampire. He sucked the milk so hard he drew blood. I'll never forget the shock of seeing him come off the breast with a ring of blood around his mouth; the dread I felt contemplating every feed. I'll never forget the absolute agony of him latching on. I would sit there feeding him with tears streaming down my face, in pure agony. I'll never forget the kindness and humanity of my midwife, the magic of her blessed breast pump; the relief at being able to express milk and feed him with a bottle; that thing saved my sanity and enabled me to go on and breastfeed successfully.

WHAT I LEARNT: If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy. Never ever look down on anyone for formula feeding. Tell any judgey types to feed a day in your nipple shields.



6. The Haircut
My daughter is four, nearly five. About to start school. About to have a Princess party. And she has grown impatient waiting for her fringe to grow out after she chopped it the last time (oh yes, she's played hairdresser before)...
So she cuts her fringe off at the roots. Immediately she realises she has messed up. She hides the chopped-off hair under her bed, and emerges wearing a hoodie. This is unusual and I wonder why... I think I went into actual shock when I pushed back the hood to reveal nothing but a patch of stubble where her hair used to be. I can not describe to you the horror. There was no way to disguise this mess. She was nearly bald at the front. And it grew soooo slooowly. A year later it was finally back to normal.

WHAT I LEARNT: Keep all scissors locked away at all times (preferably hidden in a combination safe with trip wires and sirens). Just because they use scissors safely at kindy doesn’t mean they can use them at home without incident.


7. The Screamer
 It's and our 14-month-old daughter has woken up and decided that it is playtime. No way, baby girl! I put her back in her cot, but she is a climber and exceptionally determined... she climbs right back out. We play this game approximately 476 times. By now she has been screaming for nearly three hours; she is beside herself and so are we. Her scream is like an air raid siren going off next to your ear. There is no escaping it.
By now we are worried there is something wrong with her. We thought it was a just a tantrum but what if she is ill? in pain??
I go downstairs and phone Healthline. The nurse on the phone says, "Is that her I can hear screaming???" From three doors away upstairs, my child's screams can be clearly heard over the phone. Oh boy. "Take her to A&E," says the nurse, "just in case..."
We pack her into the car, and I drive off with her screaming in the back seat... two minutes down the road I realise that the ringing in my ears is because it is quiet. And there she is the little tinker, asleep in her carseat looking like an angel.

WHAT I LEARNT: Some kids are beyond the help of Supernanny. Some kids will never ever back down. And it is a wise thing to invest in some good quality earplugs.  







8. The Climber
Noisy toddler Dash could sometimes be super sensitive. One day I growled, “Be quiet, you’ll wake the baby!” then left the room for a few minutes to check on her. When I came downstairs Dash was gone, he was nowhere inside our tiny house. Then I noticed the trike pushed over to the open window. Worried I ran outside to the teensy garden - empty. He must have climbed over the gate! I race down the driveway leaving the baby upstairs asleep. I look up the street, and walking towards me is our neighbour carrying my crying toddler, who had been spotted heading for a busy intersection and caught just before he reached it. It was a near miss. Cars don't even pause there. I have no doubt that my neighbour returning from work right then saved Dash's life. His reason for running? Looking for daddy. Mummy had growled him, so he wanted his daddy. Oh the Guilt.

WHAT I LEARNT: If your kid is a climber nothing is ever truly child-proof. Angels exist. One of them lived next door to me and saved my boy’s life.



9. The Panic
It was school holidays and I was hugely pregnant with Scrag but I thought I would be brave and take the kids to the movies. It was wall-to-wall people, the ticket-line was crawling slowly. Eventually we got our tickets and elbowed our way through the crowd upstairs to the theatre. I was weaning off anti-depressants being in the last trimester of pregnancy and I was suffering. 
I told myself, It'll be OK once we get inside and sit down... Problem. I’ve been given tickets to the wrong session and the meanie on the door won't let us through. He wants us to go all the way back down through that crowd and line up again, get new tickets and then come back...

All of a sudden I was dying. Blind panic filled me from head to foot and I ran, pushing past people, elbowing through in desperation for the back stairs, hoping my kids were following but unable to stop and check. Sobbing I reached some open space and clung to the wall, my breath coming in gasps. People walked past me, staring. No-one stopped to help. Shaking and crying I gathered my little chicks and made it downstairs. We did not watch the movie.
   
WHAT I LEARNT:   Always always check your tickets. If you see someone sobbing and crying, help them! (and don’t go to the movies in the school holidays if you are prone to panicking or don’t like crowds!)



10. Missing
Football practise was over and the kids are all playing on the playground. I am sitting in the parked car right in front, watching them. Toot! Toot! Let's go guys, I call. I have four kids with me today... I follow their progress into the car... one... two...three... where is number four?? Where is Miss Fab? She was just here!
The boys look at each other blankly. I jump out of the car and run towards the playground calling her name. No reply. Some of the other parents come over, I explain that she has disappeared and they join in the search... There’s no sign of her. Where can she have gone??? Sickening fear rises up in my throat. The worst has happened. She has been snatched right from under my nose. I took my eyes off her for a second. I will have to tell her daddy that she has been lost on my watch. Our family will never be the same. I will never get to see her grow up, get married, have babies... my mind is racing to the negative as I keep calling her name and running, running, looking...

Ten minutes have passed with no sign of her. Ten minutes is a long time when your child is missing. The coach's wife jumps in her car and does a circuit of the park perimeter... I see her car stopping, a small figure in the far off distance... could it be my girl???

I run, heart racing, the nightmare begins to recede as hope rises. It is her. She went to where we parked last week; forgot where we were parked today. She is fine, but I am not. It takes a whole day for me to recover from that feeling of devastation, imagining a world without her.

WHAT I LEARNT: As bad as the moments can be with your kids, the worst moments are the ones where you face losing them. No matter how much they do your head in, the thought of a world without them is unbearable.

......................................
There are many more bad moments I could mention: the often-trod walk of shame hauling tantrum-ing tots from shopping malls as all eyes stare, the mortification of having a Biter, the stomach-turning job of cleaning up endless rounds of vomit and sodden bedding...

There are even some moments I can't bring myself to speak of yet.
Yep, it's a hard road this mothering lark, but difficult as it is, I would never swap it for anything in the world.

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09 June 2010

New KidsClick Theme: "This is Me"


Click Here for the results of "YUCK!"
..................

Our third competition theme is underway... this week it's all about YOU, with our theme:

"This is Me"

You need to find a way to take a photo of yourself in a way that tells us something about what kind of person you are, or what kind of things you are into etc.

Tricky?? Not really :)

My kids are always taking pictures of themselves by turning the camera around and taking self portraits; lots of them turn out really great! Then there's always the mirror - take a picture of yourself in a mirror (or two, or three)...

Another way might require mum or dad's help: set the camera on self-timer and then jump around in front of it!


What will your picture tell us about you?? What will you wear? a hat? facepaint? your favourite outfit? Pulling a silly face? Showing us your new tooth? Sitting on your bike? Use your imagination... We can't wait to meet you!

JUDGES SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR:
  • An interesting or clever photo
  • Something different or unusual
  • A picture where the photographer has tried to be creative

You have TWO WEEKS to take your picture and join in.

You can post your picture on a blog and link up below... or email it to me and I will past it here on KidsClickFun.com and link it up for you.

Last weeks' winners, Amelie and Little Man, will pick a favourite each (so two winners will be chosen (and their runners-up) PLUS My Pick will get a chance to share their tips with us here on KidsClickFun.com).


CLICK HERE FOR THE RESULTS OF "YUCK!"
THE RULES:
  1. Photos can be cropped or turned Black and White - but not edited in other ways.
  2. Kids must be aged younger than 15 years old.
  3. Please tell us your age and where you are from along with your photo, e.g. "Taken by Bobby, age 6, from Timbuctoo, Africa"
  4. If more than one person in your family wants to join in, that's great. Just make sure you label your photos so we know whose is who!
  5. Link up to your KidsClick post, not just your blog (so we can find it easily)
  6. Leave me a comment letting me know you've linked up!

Anyone can join in so spread the word.

You have until  TUESDAY EVENING 22nd JUNE to link up.

Get clicking kids! Take a photo that lets us know who you are!

  
Then link up here....





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