05 September 2008

Bundle of Joy

This is Scrag's Story...

He nearly didn't get here. I don't do pregnancy very well, and after Miss Fab was born I thought: That's it, I'm done, I've got my boy and my girl. Two kids is my lot.
Mr G and I used to think we'd have three kids, but that was before we had any. Parenting is harder than it looks.

I trucked along with my two, certain that was it for me. If anyone asked, I was pretty definite... almost!When Dash was four, a friend from kindy came to play, bringing his mum, his little sister and his new baby brother.
Dash was smitten. After that visit, he began with the begging: "Mum can I have a baby brother? Mum, I'm so sad for my baby brother... mum, my baby brother can share my bunk; my baby brother can have these toys... it's not fair cause Caleb has got TWO brothers and I don't have any!"

Poor kid, I felt sorry for him. I thought (and said), there's just no way I can do another pregnancy!
I told him, "Sorry honey I don't think it can happen. Mummy has a sore back and a baby would hurt it more..."

He figured a way round that: "I'll pray for your back to get better, mum... dear Jesus please make mummy's back all better so I can have a baby brother, amen! There mum, it's all better, now can I have my baby brother??!!"

I thought it was a phase that he'd grow out of. Nope. Months went by and every now and then Dash would ask again.

I tried reasoning with him... "Honey, you know we can't choose if we get a brother or a sister. Even if I had another baby, you might get another sister!"

"No," he said firmly. "Because Jesus knows in my heart it's a baby brother."

I spoke to a wonderful wise lady I know, and asked her, was someone up there was trying to tell me something? Because this kid would just not let up!
She suggested I pray and ask God that if it was "meant to be" it would grow in my own heart. So I did. And then forgot all about it for a while.

Until I started seeing baby boys wherever I went and to my surprise, I even started feeling... clucky??!!

I spoke to my doctor, my counselor and chiropractor... wanting to make sure I wasn't being unrealistic about whether I could cope. They were supportive, but some family members were quite skeptical and were concerned for my health and wellbeing. One in the health sector, flat out said, You are blessed with two healthy kids, but with your history that's a miracle. You'll do what you want but in my opinion it would be crazy.

The funny thing was, all that negativity just made me want it more.

Mr G said, "Hey, I've always wanted three. It's just whether you think you can cope with it."

I felt like my window of opportunity was closing as I was edging closer to 40 every day, but I couldn't make up my mind. One minute I was like, "Oh yes, we should!" the next I was thinking about broken sleep, endless nappies and having to go back to the "baby stage" when life was just starting to get easier!

Finally one day I woke up and said to Mr G: "I can't take any more of this limbo. I just need to know, is it yes or no? How can I tell?"
"Ask God to show you in your heart, not just your head," he replied. Wise man.

That very day I was at a birthday party for one of Miss Fab's friends whose mum had recently had her third baby - a gorgeous baby boy. I held this little treasure as his mummy ran around hosting, and what do you know, he fell asleep on me. For an hour and a half, I cuddled him as he slept and for the first time I could picture myself holding another baby.

All of a sudden I knew that if we never had that third baby, I would regret it.

As soon as I got home from the party I rang Mr G to tell him I knew I wanted to get started on making Baby Number Three...

Within two months I was pregnant and I hideously sick, far worse than with the other two. And my hips and pelvis already ached and I was limping badly. One day I was so bad, I literally couldn't get out of bed. I phoned the kindergarten to inform them Dash wouldn't be in, and bless them, one of the mums came by to pick him up for me; another mum supplied lunch for him. I was so touched - what a great community!

The whole pregnancy was tough. It never let up. If it wasn't puking and nausea, aches and exhaustion, it was dizziness, low blood pressure and panic attacks, through the hottest summer for years!

Near the end I had to consult a specialist because the baby was in the top 5% for size and I also had large fibroids showing up in the scan near the cervix. In the end it was decided to give me an elective caesarian. Thankfully I got a date two weeks early (I was HUGE); I thought a planned caesarian would be a cake-walk, but it's actually quite scary and wierd.

Mr G had wanted to keep the baby's sex a surprise so when they pulled the baby out and held him up, the shout "It's a boy!" sent me into floods of tears.

I would have been happy with another wee girl of course, but I knew that Dash had been praying for this little brother for nearly two years!

The surgeon told us later that Scrag wouldn't have been able to be born naturally; his head was wedged behind the fibroid and wouldn't have gone down. I hemorraged after he was delivered and my uterus wouldn't contract due to the fibroids. I lost nearly two litres of blood and ended up in HDU for a while. Scraggy was 9lb 3oz two weeks early - he looks like a wrestler in his early photos!

From the first day I knew I had a little gem. I was in agony (all the handling during the hemorrage, the cut, my pelvis) but when I looked at my little boy it was so worth it!

I swear to you, he smiled at me while we were still in the hospital. He looked me right in the eye, as if he recognised me and his expression seemed to say, "I know you! You're my mummy!"

Scraggy is a pure joy. He first laughed at two months old, a deep throaty chuckle; he has a great sense of fun and cackles every time you change his nappy or even catch his eye.
He's a treasure, we all love and adore him to peices and I am SO GLAD that Dash started asking for a baby brother!

Sometimes I have a scary thought: What if I hadn't listened? Where would we be without Scraggy?

So I am grateful, incredibly grateful, for this little character. He's going to be a chatterbox, and will be right at home in our crazy family full of clowns!

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Catching the Magic said...

So beautiful! You are amazing and I'm so happy everything worked out well for you.

meg said...

i know this is a very old post but i want to comment anyway. its so awesome hearing your story. like you, after number two i was happy with two & could not imagine the 'horror' of giving birth again even though i had two natural straight forward births. i felt so guilty about this but after a while i realized that wasn't from God & felt that if He had another one in store for us, He would guide us at the right time. Now, my 2nd will be turning 3 soon & i am pregnant with a very much wanted third. & although i'm still apprehensive about the birth thing, strangely i don't feel terrified about it. sorry for such a long comment. so awesome to see the way God works.

Jess B said...

(I know this is old, but it's still good!)
What an awesome story. Isn't it good to know we can trust that our Lord really DOES know what's best? Even if it takes us a while to get our heads around it! We've just been blessed with our Fourth and Final - such a treasure! Have you heard they saying "You never regret the children you DO have, only the ones you don't." I think it's so true.

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