Food Fight

Food, glorious food. Such a source of enjoyment... such a source of frustration and angst! Has there ever been a parent who didn't have at least one fussy eater??

Lately Scrag has started eating so many new types of food, which is fantastic. He gets to rub spaghetti in his hair, pumpkin in his ears and smear plum, peach and banana in every other available crevasse. It's a pleasure to see him enjoying his food so much, and experimenting happily with new tastes. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that his open-mindedness about fruit and veges will last.

Because mealtimes can be such a battlefield!

Dash is our Fussy Boy. Even as a baby he would gag over pumpkin, spit out mashed banana, clamp his teeth down at the sight of any type of pasta.

Oh, he would happily drink buckets of milk, and got through a kilo of weetbix a week. But try to get him to eat mince, steak, beans, spaghetti, even scrambled egg... forget it.It just wasn't worth the battle.

This is a kid with very plain tastes: bread and butter, potato, roast chicken, plain rice and of course Weetbix were the only food we never had to fight over.

Thankfully bit by bit we have been whittling away his resistance to new tastes and textures. He will now eat plain pasta. He manages to swallow down steak, peas, corn and apples. The other day he ate broccoli! There was some rejoicing, I tell you. And last night, we had nachos, a meal which used to cause some consternation because of all the lumpy bits (beans, corn, tomatoes), and he ate the whole thing without a murmur! Amazing - a meal without a fight. Woohoo!

Princess on the other hand: she is my healthy girl. She asks for fruit for a snack, declares broccoli and sushi as her favourites, tucks into salad with her meal; and requests a ham and avocado sandwich to go with her fluffy at a cafe (instead of a cake).

We praise her healthiness long and loud. We extol her vege-eating virtues to her sporty brother. "Wow look at your sister eating all those veges; she's such a healthy girl," we say. "Look out, Dash, in a few years your sister will probably be faster and stronger than you, because she's putting such good stuff into her body..."

We emphasised the health aspects of food and how fruit, veges and meat are what make you fast and strong - all things very important to our competitive fussy eater. Bit by bit Dash has started to be interested in whether something was healthy or not. On his own accord he has started to try foods he would previously have refused based on the way they look.

And I am thinking this emphasis on healthy food can only be a good thing. Our daughter lives in a world where young girls are bombarded on all sides with distorted body images, and an obsession with physical beauty.

Our gorgeous girl is tall and strong; she stands a head taller than most of the girls her age. She is muscular and athletic, but will never be petite. I want her to be proud of her stature, and confident in her own skin. I want her to make choices about food based on whether they are healthy and nourishing, not whether they will "make you fat".

Ah yes, the world of food can certainly be a minefield for us parents...

How bout you? Do you have battles over food?? How do you get your kids to eat their fruit and veg??

Planning Kids' Parties

I'm no professional kids' party planner. The parties we have done have been trial and error, home-made, on a budget but loads of fun and absolutely enjoyed by all (kids and adults alike). I figure there will be other mums out there who might benefit from my party planning process (and learn from some of my mistakes). So here goes...


1. Think of a Theme


A good theme has lots of things going for it. It should be something the birthday child likes and is into of course (unless they are turning one and too young to know or care!) A theme that lends itself easily to dressing up is always great. I prefer ones with related motifs that can match the theme (and food) easily, rather than having to always buy expensive licensed products. It also gives you more of a chance for creativity as well as saving $$$. For instance, with the Teddy Bears Picnic there are bees, honey, flowers, gingham, baskets etc. For Dash's 4th Birthday Pirate Party, we called it a Deep Blue Sea party, so we could use fishy motifs like sharks, dolphins, fish squirters, water fights and mermaids.


2. Let the idea "ferment"

I usually try to think of the theme at least a couple of months before the party (this is usually easy because the kids start thinking about their next party as soon as the last one is over!)

I kind of let the theme rattle around my brain and ideas start to come. I also keep an eye out when shopping in case I spot things that will add to the theme. I start collecting them over time, rather than do a mad dash at the end. This is great in two ways:

• It spreads the cost out
• Sometimes the great stuff you see is sold out or no longer on special closer to the party date.

About three months before Dash's Deep Sea Party I spotted some great $2 fish squirter water guns, that gave me the idea for a water fight and would be great as the take-home prize. Luckily I bought them when I saw them, because within a week they were sold out and I've never seen them since!

3. Coordinate the venue and guest list

Seems obvious, but this is where things can get tricky. If you're having the party at home, you have to plan for wet weather. If you have twenty six-year-old boys at home for a Sports Party and it rains... what then?? Is it worth having the party at in indoor venue? (you may have to book well in advance to get the venue you want)

Or, if your child's birthday is in winter (as my daughter's is) plan for an indoor party using more than one room in the house. For our Fairy Party we set up Princess's bedroom as a make-up/dressing room, had the dining room set up for a magical tea party, and used the lounge for the games. The treasure hunt was designed for indoors. Because of the limited space we had to keep guest numbers low - 8 girls in total.

4. Work out the Programme

I usually start with the invitations. I design my invitations on Photoshop, which gives me the look and feel I want for the party. (Click here for my free printable invitation designs).

Then the timing... how long do you want the party to go for, what time of day works best for the little guests? etc.

For example, Scrag's Teddy Bears Picnic was around two hours, from 11am to 1pm. This time of day best suits littlies around his age (between sleeps) and will cover the lunchtime period when they usually eat anyway.

The older kids' parties I tend to do in the afternoon, with an afternoon tea rather than a full on meal. I usually keep to a 2-hour time frame and structure the activities based on that.

I usually break up the time something like this:

• Guests arrive: allow 20 minutes for guests to straggle in. Have an activity planned that kids can join in with as they arrive, e.g. face painting, hair and makeup, free play on pre-set activities.
• A start-up game: (10-15 minutes) Something to set the tone and energy level; for example a dancing game or limbo competition
• Food and Cake: (30 minutes) Allow time to eat, Blow out the Birthday candles, and sing happy birthday
• Main Games (the remaining time):

If there's time (e.g. at hired venues you may have a limited timeframe) we open presents and offer guests some Birthday Cake; and of course present the guests with their party bags or take-home treats.


For the games I like to find ways to re-work old classics, like musical chairs, capture the flag and treasure hunts.


Sleepovers are a whole new ball-game... one we have bentured into now that our kids are older. Sleepovers means less kids, more time & simpler longer-lasting activities, e.g. for Dash's Dinosaur Adventure Sleepover, the boys played football in the garden, hid dinosaurs and then hunted for them after dark; played Buzz PS2 Dino Den and then watched a movie. Dinner was simple pizza and icecream sundaes. It was a great time with Dash's friends and surprisingly relaxed!

For the Fairy Party, I combined Pass the Parcel with a Treasure Hunt. In between each layer of paper was a rhyming clue which led to treats being hidden around the room. Musical chairs became Musical Toadstools, and there was a little prize for each fairy who managed to escape the magical fairy ring. Young children often get upset if they get "out" so it helps if you can put a positive spin on things. {Download Fairy Party Games here}

For a special 5th Birthday party, we hired a community hall (very cheaply) and invited the whole families of Miss Fab's friends to attend, dressed as Kings Queens, Knights, princesses etc. We called it a Royal Ball and had all kinds of dancing games. They all brought a plate of "something yummy". Rather than hire an expensive DJ, I downloaded some free mixing software, and made up my own mix dance CD for the Ball. We strung up borrowed Christmas lights and some homemade bunting. It was a magical night for all our friends, and cost not much more than a party at home.

Each party is different of course, and tailored to the age of the guests and the theme. For the Sports Party, we did the food last, as it's no good playing sports on a full stomach.

For Scrag's 1st birthday, where there were lots of very young ones, we had lots of free-play activities set up (slide, rockers & ride-ons, swings, playhouse, ball pit etc) and then at the end we went on a Bear Hunt to find Teddies, the Party Bags and a friendly (big brother) Bear.

A couple of things to consider:

• Activities may take longer or shorter than you have planned so it pays to be flexible; figure out in advance what you will scrap if you find you are running out of time, or what else you can do if things finsh earlier than expected
• Some games can "go to custard", so it pays to have a back-up plan just in case. For example, at Dash's Jungle Party we were playing a fun game of "Monkey Chase" which we had to pull the plug on after a young "tiger" fell apart when a very realistic "hyena" chased him down, and sent him running to his mum. His distraught sobbing meant the end to that game, so luckily we had a Plan B.
• Toddlers don't need many (if any) structured activities. They need lots of things set up for them to free-range play on. Like Scrag's second birthday Wacky Wheels party - we marked out a race track on our driveway and instructed guests to bring their ride-ons. There were other activities set up as well including a hired rollercoaster and petrol pump. It was perfect for two-year-olds.

5. Set the Atmosphere

Adult Help: A great atmosphere is the difference between a good party and a great party. In my experience kids often need adults to lead the way. I usually enlist the help of some fun adults I know to dress the part and lead the fun. Luckily my hubby Mr G is great at this: he has been Baloo the Bear, Tim from Hi-5, Captain Hook, and The Ref.


He has lots of energy and is great at getting the kids giggling, as well as keeping things moving. I have also been known to round up other fun-loving parents and even babysitters to be fairies, coaches and the gang from Hi-5.

I also usually ask a couple of mums to do the face painting; I have collected a box of facepaints and glitter over time and these get pulled out and added to with each party. If budgets are tight (as they seem to be these days) you can have a great party without having to hand over hundreds to special entertainers or face-painters. Just get a few handy friends to pitch in.

Teams: Sometimes kids can be shy at parties; they may not know anyone else there apart from the birthday child. It helps to have adults creating a fun and energetic atmosphere. When there are team games we pre-pick the teams; there's nothing worse than being the last kid standing at a party, unpicked. This also helps ensure that teams are well balanced.

Music: I always make a special mix CD for each party I do. I look online for songs that suit the theme and borrow friends' CDs as well. It's very easy to create your own mix CD using Windows Media player; all you need is a computer that has a CD burner. By tailoring the songs to the theme, you help create the kind of "feel" you want - from ethereal and magical (fairy), to high energy (sports).

Decorating: I always try to keep the decorating simple but effective. This is the fun part and where you can just let your imagination go to town. It's good to use what you have and borrow some stuff as well; you don't need to spend lots of money; Christmas lights and lengths of fabric can come in handy. Ivy is great for a fairy party (and free, if you can find where some is growing).

Cover the windows with blue cellophane for the Deep blue sea party and hang dolphins and sea creatures from the ceiling; a green tulle canopy strung with flowers and butterflies for the fairy party etc.

Think outside the box; don't just stick to expensive licensed products; go with a secondary motif for decorating; e.g. for Princess's Hi-5 party, I used hearts and stars: Easy shapes to cut out and find.  Innovative presentation really adds excitement; e.g. food displayed in toy trucks and trailers for Wacky Wheels Party looked amazing and cost nothing.

Food: Keep the food simple and easy to prepare. You don't want to spend your whole time in the kitchen at your child's birthday party! Food that can be prepared ahead of time is best. Click here for some of my party food ideas... It's also good to be aware of guests who may have food allergies (which are very common these days). Best to check with the parents and offer some alternatives for that child to eat.

And of course the Cake... so many ideas out there! Sometimes the simplest ones can look the most effective. If you're stuck for ideas, try doing a google image search on your party's theme. And if in doubt, just use lots of buttercream icing and lollies (yum yum)!

Or check out the 60 amazing cakes sent in by Readers...

Goody Bags: I am not a great fan of goody bags; I hate the cheapy chatty stuff they can be full of. I would rather get each child an inexpensive take-home gift that's useful and a little bag of sweeties.

For the Sports Party, I hunted for deals on Sipper Bottles and eventually found some cool Nike ones for $3 each. I named each bottle with sticky letter labels and the kids used them during the sports games and took the bottles home; there was also a little bag of treats each.

At the Fairy Party, the girls got an empty little flax bag with their own fairy label at the start of the party. They collected their prizes in it throughout the party. Plus I made a flower wreath for each little fairy guest to wear and take home with them.

6. Send out the Invitations...

About 3-4 weeks ahead is the best time to give out invitations. Sometimes it can help to email guests with a "save the date" alert, to avoid disappointments. Also it seems that most kids say "yes" to party invitations, unlike adults. In the early days, Mr G advised me to invite 15 if I wanted 10 guests, to allow for "No's". Huh! I ended up with 15!

I've found that usually only one or two kids will not be able to make it, sometimes at the last minute due to illness. There could also be a few "ring ins" turn up and sometimes it's good to have a spare bag of sweets or two on hand, just in case.

The Number One Rule for On The Day:
Don't sweat the small stuff. 
The point of the party is to celebrate the birthday child and give him/her a great day with their friends. There will always be mishaps and things that don't work out how you wanted them to - like the weather. Don't focus on what goes wrong. If you're running out of time, drop some non-essential things off your to-do list.

The kids won't actually notice many of the details. They will soak up the atmosphere. The details all go into creating atmosphere - but the sight of you stressed-out and grouchy will undo all your good work. So take a deep breath, relax and simply enjoy your child's Big Day.

• Click Here for my printable Party Planning Worksheet
• Click Here for my FREE Kids Party Invitation Website
• Click Here for more Party Menus, Tutorials & Recipes 

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My Kids Parties

• Fairy Party
• Deep Blue Sea (Pirate) Party
• Sports Party
• Jungle Party
• Teddy Bears Picnic
• Farmyard Party
• Royal Ball (Princess) Party
• Royal Ball How To's
• Dinosaur Adventure Party (with Volcano Cake)
• Wacky Wheels Party
• Fancy Nancy Party
• Star Wars Party
• Toy Story Party (with Rocket Cake)
• Tangled (Rapunzel) Party
• Tangled Party How To's

Mental Health Day

I have had Dash home from school all day today. He's not ill, he aint injured... he just needs a day of mummy time.

The idea of "mental health days" was around when I was working, but we said it as a kind of joke, when we'd pull a sicky. Actually I now believe that prevention is sometimes better than a cure.

I tell the kids, they get one "pass" each Term for a day at home with mummy.

For the schoolboy it's not a free pass to play and watch TV, oh no.

We spend some time together working on school stuff; I get him reading and writing me stories, working on his handwriting, spelling. Sometimes we do baking together or go to the shops to pick up things he needs but mostly it's just a day where he can catch his breath.

Yesterday was a bit tough for him; he is finding the schooldays so long and the nights are still so light and warm, it's hard for him to get sleep. On Mondays he has soccer club so it's particularly gruelling after the weekend where nights tend to be later anyway.

Then there's the fact that he's been around people in a noisy stimulating environment for 8 hours, on the go.

Dash is a bit of an introvert. In the book "Raising Your Spirited Child", Mary Kurcinka explains what Introverts and Extroverts really are: its all about where you get your emotional energy from.

Introverts get their emotional energy from being by themselves. If there are in crowds of people for too long they will become drained and then unable to cope with challenges or disappointments; this can often lead to tantrums or bad behaviour in kids (and adults!)

Extroverts, on the other hand, get their energy from other people. They become emotionally drained if they have to spend too long by themselves without the company of others to energise them. When extroverts have to spend too long on their own they become like caged lions: accidents just waiting to happen. Princess is one of these types of kids. Her behaviour deteriorates if she doesn't get a good dose of social contact every day.

Dash on the other hand needs alone time in his room after a long day at school. Yesterday, he had gone straight from school to soccer and when he had to deal with a disappointment there, he came home looking like a thundercloud, thumped into his room and slammed the door.

I recognised what was happening and guessed the cause. Sure enough, I was right; and what Dash needed was some alone time and a little bit of TLC to calm him down.

I helped him into bed, turned on a favourite soccer DVD and pampered him a little with a snack on a tray brought to his room. Then I exited, reassuring him that his coach wasn't overlooking his efforts, and left him to have some "space".

About 20 minutes later I heard the familiar sound of the ball being kicked in the garden and the endless soccer commentary... "Yes! What a finish! It's a great goal for Stephen Taylor of Newcastle...!"

Ahhh, my little introvert had recharged his batteries and was now back on top of the world.

And a mental health day can only help as well - he's used up his one for this Term, I keep reminding him. Tomorrow it'll be back to school, but hopefully with a bit more emotional fuel in the tank!

Click Here to read more on "Spirit" and Kids Personalities...

I'm an introvert too. How about you: Do you do "mental health days"? Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you get energised? What about your kids? Love to hear your thoughts...

It Takes A Village

There's an old saying that goes, "It takes a Village to raise a child. "

Early on in my mothering days I lamented over this, feeling sad that, in these days of urban living and scattered families, "villages" seemed to be in short supply - let alone a nearby granny or aunty who could lend a hand to a struggling new mum.

A few years on, I feel differently. I still live amongst urban sprawl, my family is still scattered to the four corners of the earth, grannies and aunties are still in short supply. But bit by bit I seem to be building a little Village of my own.

It's made up of school mums, church mums, soccer team mums, coffee group mums and neighbours. Thrown in for good measure are some surrogate aunties and uncles, borrowed cousins (and the occasional Fairy Godmother).

When my third baby was born, I was astounded as night after night people turned up on my doorstep with meals, baby clothes, and offers of help. I didn't need to cook for three weeks!

I was in awe of some of my friends in particular, who came not with one meal, but with bags and boxes of them. These gifted and generous friends make a habit of spreading their good cooking around. They are the ones with the deep freeze in the garage, who cook extra and seem to always have something frozen on hand to drop off to a sick friend, or new mum. I am in awe of these Domestic Giants.

I have to admit, I have not always been the first one around with a batch of muffins or a pie, but I am trying to be quicker off the mark.

I have experienced the value of that seemingly simple gift of a meal or home baking. It comes with love. It says: Hey, you matter; I'm here for you; You're not forgotten. Inspired by the example of others, I am trying to up my meal-making, muffin-baking game.

But it's not just the meals and home-baking. There have been times when I've been physically incapacitated and have once again been blessed by my wonderful Village with offers of rides to school, play dates, sleepovers (and yes, even meals made).

I'm trying to make sure it's not all one-way traffic though, because "what goes around, comes around." I help you, you help me. We help each other, right? We're in this together my mummy friends. We may live in a very different world than our grannies did, where the village was just over the fence. But the old saying is still true - we need each other. Our Village may look a little different, but it can be just as supportive, just as real, just as invaluable. Thing is, it takes time to build one.

New mothers may be struggling with the isolation of their new role. Hey, reach out! Connect with others, even if it's online. Start building a Village now with muffins, meals, play dates, phone calls, emails, a card…

Then one day when you most need it, you'll find you have a wonderful Village supporting you after all.

Blog Followers Giveaway

I know there's lots of you that read my blog although you are mostly too shy to comment - I hear from you on Facebook and via email and I just love getting your feedback.

So I am holding a competition for the next month to boost my "official" blog follower numbers. If you become a "follower" this month you will go in the Draw to win something from me: a Parenting book (your choice of the following):

• Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka


• Growing Great Boys by Ian Grant


• Growing Great Girls by Ian & Mary Grant


• Of Course I love You Now Go to Your Room by Diane Levy

The Draw closes on March 20th and will include all my current followers (God bless you) and every new follower.

All you have to do is:

1. Click on "Follow this Blog" in the sidebar and then complete the instructions; if you're already a follower then skip this step


2. Leave a comment to say which parenting book you would prefer if you win!
   

I hope to see more of you following soon...!

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The prize book is kindly donated by my hubby Rory's company RJ Graham Ltd (Personal Assurance Brokers) Thanks Rory!

Mortal Thoughts

It's been quite annoying and perplexing lately, I just seem to be having one health issue after another. First it was my back, which left me unable to walk, bend or lift for long enough to be extremely inconvenient - especially with a baby.

Then I have been getting these funny dizzy turns where I nearly black out or faint. A few days ago this turned into constant dizziness, nausea and numbness in my hands, feet and lips.

Kind of worrying. Mr G drove me to the doctor and the whole way there I felt like I was on a roller-coaster. Did I also mention that sounds have become heightened for me? The music at church overwhelms me and if there's background noise I can't make out what people are saying.

The doctor thinks it's an inner ear problem and has ordered a week of rest and peace (hahaha), and then see how we are in 10 days. She doesn't think it's anything more sinister than that, but until I spoke to her I was freaking out quite a bit.

I mean, I'm young and usually in pretty good health. But can I afford to take that for granted?

A friend of mine had her best girlfriend pass away from cancer two weeks ago. She was a young mum. Another friend of mine's sons have good friends whose mother passed away suddenly after giving birth, leaving the dad alone with the kids and a newborn.

Then there was our own grandad who passed away suddenly at the age of 59, having been diagnosed with cancer only 5 days previous...

OK, Simone, slow down! Stop it, just don't go there...!

But I can't help it.

I keep thinking, what if I did have something bad? My kids are so young, would they forget me? I'm in hardly any photos because I'm always the one taking them. Most of the video footage is also taken by me... they wouldn't have much to help them remember me.

Could I turn my blog into a printed version, so they would always have what I wrote about them? They would have their first five years books and the DVD's I've made; the journals I have written...

Ahhh... do I even want to publish this post? I'm sure it's all fine, it's just my paranoia. But we never know how long we have do we? We just can't see what's around the corner.

I said to my hubby a few days ago, I want you to take more photos and video of me and the kids. I want them to see me doing things with them, not just observing and recording them.

In the end, the fact is that our days with our kids are limited. They grow so fast, and that's no cliche. Surely I just blinked and my newborn has turned into a 6 year old, a 4 year old, a 10-month-old. All those cute and funny things they do and say that at the time we are so certain we will always remember... don't they just grow fuzzy and blurred?

Fact is we are mortal. Our lives pass in the blink of an eye. Our kids sprout up and will be gone too soon out into the big wide world.

I want to grab them, hold them, kiss them and squeeze them, imprinting their feel and smell on my senses. I want to capture their every expression, their funny sayings, their milestones and misshaps to keep and treasure always. Most of all so that they will remember me, and know how much they were loved and rejoiced over, adored and valued. Just in case.