08 February 2010


Last night I lay in bed and tears rolled down my cheeks.
I just need to know, are we doing alright as parents? I sobbed to Mr G.
We are, we are, he reassured me.
But how do you know??? I begged.

My heart was aching with the heaviness of the task. Raising three human beings from babyhood to adulthood. Teaching them everything they need to know to survive in the world. Shaping them into responsible caring good-hearted people. Equipping them with tools to face disappointment, heartache, meanness and failure... so they will bounce back rather than break.

I had found some old photos tucked at the back of a drawer. Photos of us in our early days as parents. Photos of our first two babies.

My heart ached with how quickly those years have passed. And now another child is speeding on his way from babyhood. Before we know it they will all have grown and flown. It's going too fast! I will never get those years back. They will never be babies again. A lump of sadness sat in my chest, and I couldn't cry it away.

This morning we rushed to get ready for another day. But for a few moments I sat on the window seat with my cup of tea and whispered some thoughts up to heaven. I really don't know how to do this parenting thing. I would really love you to let us know how we're doing; how to do it better. I don't know much at all. I could really use your help, you know.

Later while I was making the lunches a song came on which I love. It's a prayer for my children. A wish. A hope.

I turned the music up loud. I scooped up my Little One, my Most Baby. And we danced. I spun him around and he giggled.

Me next, me next! Cried the Big Boy. I scooped him up, all seven years of him. All lanky limbs and spiky hair. We danced. I spun him around and he giggled.

My turn! My turn! called the Big Girl. So I scooped her up and held her close. I breathed in her hair and felt her velvet cheek against mine. Big Boy and Little One held hands and twirled alongside us. We all spun and danced and turned together, giggling.

My heart was aching with how much I love them. I hope they will always Dance.

I Hope You Dance, by LeeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, Reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
Time is a real and constant motion, always rolling us along

I hope you dance
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone...


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Sammy said...

What a beautiful post Simoney and what an incredible Mommy you are!
Love spending time with you (and yes I am caving and taking Rubi to the doctor- I can't bear looking at that foot any longer!!)

PaisleyJade said...

Beautiful - I read recently that motherhood seems to go hand in hand with guilt... we are always wondering if we are doing enough, have the right balances in life etc.

Taking moments to reflect and enjoy the now show us that we are doing a good job!

Widge said...

I drive my husband nuts constantly asking (or sometimes rather ACCUSING)us of the same thing! How do we know!!?! how the heck do we DO this!?!! Sometimes I completely freak out that I've brought 4 kids into this world not knowing what or if I'm doing things right.
Beautiful words and pic simone.
and the fact that we care and ask that question surely counts for something!!

Gail said...

I'm not sure it's a question you can ever give a straight yes/no answer to....when is it ever enough? How do we measure what is doing it right?? And you can never measure against anyone elses attempt at the same thing, because their "enough/right" will be different to yours!

You know in your heart if you're giving it your best shot - it goes with everything in life. There are some things I know I don't mind doing a half-arse job with, there are others things I want to give my all to.

Motherhood is immeasurable.

You're doing more than enough Simone. You are raising 3 wonderful children who will grow up to be wonderful adults.

Windthicket Fables said...

You know, we ALL feel that way. Morning and night, my prayers are the same as yours. That I'll be a better mom. That they'll turn out okay, and that I'll teach them the right things.

There are parents out there that feel like everything they do is what is right, without ever asking God and without ever trying to be better. By asking to be better, it shows that you love them so much and that you are great.

When i went to college, my mom gave me a wrapped present that I wasn't supposed to open until she left. When I opened it, it was a cd with that song "I hope you dance" recorded over and over again. I sat and cried for hours. It's a beautiful song.

Trees said...

Beautiful pictures, beautiful family x

Anonymous said...

beautiful post Simoney.....
and don't worry honey, they will dance

Laura said...

just lovely
keep on dancing...

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

You have explained it perfect. They are growing so fast and we can't help but wonder how we are doing and who they will become. I love that song. I have always told my son that that will be the song we dance to when he gets married.

Sarah said...

Ah, deep, deep sigh.

Such a beautiful post of words and photographs. This is one to treasure for your children and you. We all feel like this so often, 'Are we doing it right?', 'How can we do things better?' and it's those questions that keep us fresh and help to make us better parents. We can only ever do our best and we all too frequently beat ourselves up for not fulfilling the high standards we set ourselves.

One look at your gorgeous family photos and the love pours out.

Your children are very fortunate to have such loving and caring parents.

Rae Ann said...

Sniffle! I totally have baby fever right now and you are making it worse! Great post.

Sophie said...

Love that song and what wonderful memories those photos show you all have together. You ARE doing an awesome, fabulous job!

Wendy said...

Love that song! We are entering the teenage years and I wonder too where does time go...did we instill in her all that she needs to make those good choices? Great post...I guess we'll cling to each phase and love it for all that it is and create memories that will last a life time!
Hope you have a beautiful day!

Natasha in Oz said...

I have never heard that song before-I am so glad you introduced it to me.

Now, I need to go and get some kleenex you big meany! Thanks for making me cry Simoney!

Best wishes,

BNM said...

wow this brought tears to my eyes, they grow up soo fast!

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