I'm sitting here in my PJ's (yet again), facing my computer screen and what is coming to mind?
NADA. (that means "nothing" in Spanish, according to Dora)
I think I promised a while back to "only post quality" to "not ramble about nothing" and to stop "yielding to internal pressure to Post something every day" when I have nothing much to say.
I just can't help myself.
You see, I did The Grateful Project for two straight weeks.
Every day, nothing but Grateful.
Part of me was brave and bold, telling myself, "It's my blog and I'll be Grateful if I want to..."
The other part was slightly nervous waiting to see what would happen.
Would I lose my readers? Would I turn people off? Would they be bored and stop reading, commenting?
(Then I try and start up a Grateful linky and not one entry. Not ONE. No interest. Shall I knock it on the head already? Kind of embarrassing really. Have I lost you all? So my thoughts begin to spiral downward...)
This is the great Achilles heel of bloggers, I think.
This awful insecurity about what we do and how well we do it.
This incessant need for affirmation, feedback, comments dammit!
This morning I had a lovely email from a reader. She found my blog while searching for Peter Pan Party ideas...
re: THANKYOU HAD A MAGICAL PP PARTY:
"Hi Simone, Thank you for your wonderful ideas. Made the headdresses and treasure map cake. My 4 year old was thrilled. I love your blog, I've got 3 boys 2,4 and about to be 6. Am considering the next party! I also love the way you chronicle everyday family life. Am thinking of treating myself to a camera for my 35th birthday. Would be good to decide and start saving now. I wondered if you had any advice, your photos are fab! They are growing up so fast I need to stop running around and capture it on film. Thanks, Rebecca"
O Glorious Feedback. Precious gems dripped from the typewriter keys, landed in my inbox.
I was feeling drear (gratefulness had momentarily fled) but Rebecca's kind words perked me up.
My ideas had helped her create memories for her children. That means a lot to me.
Knowing that what I have taken the time to create and share has been useful to somebody, makes it feel worthwhile.
We all need to feel like what we are doing is worthwhile, don't we?
We need to have a sense of purpose, of usefulness.
I write this blog to share what I have with others. I hope it's making a difference in some small way.
This hope keeps me going.
But hearing from someone that my efforts are worthwhile, well, it's kind of validating.
In the end Blogging is not about trying to find fame or fortune. It's not a popularity contest or a numbers game. It's not about page clicks or followers or stats.
It's about feeling that what you have to offer is of value to someone else.
Behind each pageview is a person, searching for ideas to help make a memory for their child, or to cope with depression, or to just help them while-away sleepless midnight hours.
This is why I take the time to work on my blog and make it the best it can be.
This is why I do what I do.
(ahhh just look at how I'm talking myself out of a slump)
So. I just have to stick to what I'm doing, and believe that out there are hundreds of Rebecca's, using my party ideas, encouraged by my mishaps, inspired by my glue gun antics.
They might not always (hardly ever) let me know, but they're out there, appreciating my blog all the same. (This is what I tell myself. It helps me feel good. Anonymous faceless nameless readers by the hundreds who all love what I do. Right? Right.)
Blogging is worth the effort.
[P.S. I am nearly at 1000 posts - I think I might throw a blog party with some giveaways to liven things up around here and celebrate this achievement. 1000 posts is a LOT of stories dontcha think?]