10 January 2011

A New Day

There have been some shifts in the last four days, since I poured out my heart here on the Switcheroo post.

I am not talking earth-shattering shifts. No tectonic plates were involved.
But some subtle movements a few centimetres in the right direction. Enough to give me a glimmer of hope.

After I wrote the post I continued to wrestle with my sense of hopelessness. I stayed in bed. I cried some more.

And I talked to my husband.
Curled on my bed with my red puffy eyes I told him how I was feeling. Why I was useless and hopeless, helpless. And he pointed me gently to... God.

He said, fifteen minutes a day. Take a cup of tea into the sunroom. Turn on some music. Sit with a pen. Read one verse. And ask for help.
He said, of course you can't do it yourself.
Of course you can't change yourself.
Only God can, he agreed.
So ask him, he said.

Stop trying to do it yourself, cos look where that's got us after 10 years.

Somehow that sounded do-able. And actually appealing.
So after he left I thought-whispered, OK Aslan, I need help. I need you.

Sunday morning, something was telling me to drive right past church and go to the beach, get a coffee. I suggested it to hubby and he said, afterwards. And we went to church.

Just as well because the message was for me.
Every last bit of it.

It was like the preacher had heard my whispered thought-prayer and wrote his sermon notes from it just for me.

Something tells me Aslan Jesus heard me.

Later that day I got an idea. You might call it an inspiration. It was whispered in my heart and I think it was part of my answer.

I decided to create a Safe Place online. Somewhere private I can pour out my soul on the black days. Somewhere I can invite those fellow weary travellers who share this desperate journey with me. A Safe Place we can share. Encourage each other. Support one another.

So I've done it. Created A Safe Place in the Storm.
If you are on this journey, it's a place for you too.
I invite you there to my Safe Place. Somewhere away from public eyes, where you can drop the mask and show your scars without fear of judgement.

If you want to join me there, email me on greatfun4kids@live.com, introduce yourself and ask to come in from the Storm.

This is a new day for me. I have a glimmer of hope. I am asking for help. And trusting that this year I will lose my dragon skin for good. With Aslan's help.

Images from GoogleImage

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Fiona said...

Who knows what's going on behind the scenes aye? I mean in terms of the people we meet casually, interact with at the shops or work, pass in the street, even the ones we hug in church? "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with My loving eye upon you" Ps 32:8

Widge said...

Awesomeness Simone.I really feel this year (after many years of putting it off) that I need to make spending time alone with God DAILY a priority too. You go girl xo

Anonymous said...

You husband sounds very very smart!
love that you listened
love that you surrendered
we can't do it on our own...we just aren't that capable...yet!
Love and Light to you friend

Leslie said...

Your husband is a very smart man. I am glad that you listened and felt.
Writing is a great refuge and soul healer!!
Take care.
Have a happy week

PaisleyJade said...

Makings that time with Him is honestly the only way to survive. Turn it into a precious special time with a cup of tea (like hubby suggested) and a special place just for you and Him. xoxo

Anonymous said...

May you find space to come and be hidden under His wings. May his gentle hand rest tenderly on you and wipe away those tears. And as you life your eyes to his may you see in fact the gentle delight of a loving and powerful friend/father/helper. Deut 32: 10-11 'In a desert land he found him (her), in a barren and howling watse. He shielded (her) and cared for (her); he guarded (her) as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.' You are beyond loved. Precious and esteemed. x

Shell said...

Isn't it amazing when God speaks to us like that?

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