26 August 2011

Looking for Loving... {and Gratitude Too}

Today I had thought to show you my new slippers.
I planned to share my new Boards on Pinterest...
and other things like that.

But suddenly I find myself sliding down a precipice of doubt.
Doubting myself, my mothering, my intentions.
I guess guilt comes with the mother-job, but still it sucks.
So today I am looking for the things that I have done this week that prove to me I'm giving my best.
That I'm doing OK.
Not perfect... but good enough.

PaisleyJade says on her Loving Linky: "I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what is happening in your life, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is..."

So here come some simple things I can be thankful for, that I did well this week as a mother.
  • I initiated getting the TV moved out of Scrag's bedroom. 
  • He has not watched TV this week during the day at all. Only a DVD with his sister after school some days, and that's it. I can feel good about that.
  • I reorganised his toys and his bedroom in the space left by the TV.
  • I have expected him to help me pick up his toys this week, instead of doing it all for him
  • We did baking together. At least twice.
  • I read him lots of stories.
  • I invited his friends over to eat the cookies we baked. And then contemplated starting a play group...

  • We picked flowers together from our garden.
  • I took him for hot chocolate at the Mall
  • We read about Swamp Tigers
  • I got his hair cut
  • I smiled at his flower headband, made for Daffodil Day. 
  • I ignored the curious stares and sniggers as he clumped proudly around the Mall, his flower band perched on his new 'Do, a smile on his face and gumboots.
  • I did not blog while he was at home.

  • I went to Miss Fab's Class and did Parent Help. I heard reading.
  • I went to Dash's class and volunteered to help on alternate weeks.
  • I did my Walking Bus duty even though neither of my kids were on it today.
  • I cooked every night. Even when I couldn't be bothered. Which was every night.
  • When I burned the dinner, I cooked another one, even though I was crying while doing it.
  • I tried to give the cat a worm tablet. Even when she tried to claw me I kept going. When I finally got it down her throat, she spat it out. But I tried.

  • The children were kissed and cuddled every day. They went off to school with a wave and a smile.
  • The bed was made each day before we had to get into it. Sometimes just before, but still, it was made.
  • I washed the dishes by hand twice a day. My dishwasher is broken, but the dishes are clean. Mostly. A few badly washed cups did squeak through.

I really think after listing all this that I didn't do too bad this week.
I should stop being hard on myself, shouldn't I?
I may have new happy pills but I still have to work on breaking nine years of bad habits.
These things take time.
So I am grateful that every day is a new day.
And God's Mercies are new every morning.
He doesn't hold my failures against me.
I am very very thankful for that.


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TracyP said...

thanks for this post!! Since losing my hubby I have fallen into a major funk and I totally feel like my kids are missing out not only on their Dad but their Mum as well. I have been trying to improve on my mothering. I have decided when we move into our new house there will be a whole set of new rules and routines for the kids and me, me especially. Good on you for keeping on keeping on!

Sophie Slim said...

What a beautiful list for a beautiful Mama!! You are doing so well. There is so much thought and love amongst all of those bullet points :)


PaisleyJade said...

You are an amazing mum... trust me! Trust the one who has been letting her kids watch way too much tv this week! Love your list and love your little guys flower headband.
p.s. your news slippers are HOT. ;)

Meghan Maloney Photography said...

Wow, you packed a lot into this week, and all these things add up to one truly amazing mama...I'm telling ya! Hear it!

p.s. LOVE LOVE LOVE your daffodil boy and that he rocked that look in the mall..go Scrag!

Anonymous said...

I REALLY hate it when people snigger at kids just for being kids. Cam often orders girls' Happy Meals, because he likes the toys better, and we get such funny looks. Makes me wild. Scrag looked AWESOME in his cool daffodil headband!

Leonie said...

you are a totally awesome Mum Simone. You have spent so much quality time with your kids this week, baking, school help... the list is about 10 times as much as I have done with mine... and I was patting myself on the back for cooking meals they refused to eat, and taking them for a 15 minute walk on the beach....
Please dont be so hard on yourself, you are giving your kids the most awesome experiences and the best of you!
Ps. Love all the pretty flowers!!!

meg said...

Well done for spending all that time with Scrag during the week. I know how addictive blogging/pintrest/facebook/internet is. Putting him ahead of the computer and limiting his tv time is such an awesome thing that you're doing. It won't be long till he's at kindy everyday and then at school. Trust me it goes too quick.

Have you thought about trying the Community centre play group? If you took a friend then you wouldn't even have to host it at your place... no clean up involved.

Catching the Magic said...

Phew! I feel guilty that I haven't done enough this week now I've read that list! Well done! Sounds great (and LOVE that headband! Totally digging it!).

I particularly like, 'the beds being made - sometimes just before we got in them' as that sounds very like my home and made me feel a bit better :)

I have a stinking cold this week so I'm going easy on myself x You sound like you're doing an AMAZING job! Well done and enjoy your precious family time over the weekend x

Sophie said...

You are a beautiful, wonderful, fantastic mummy, even without all of that Simoney. Well done for all the awesome stuff too.

Jodi@TheScribbleDen said...

It's the simplest things that count isn't it?

Cat said...

It's all been said above xxx
I admire how you blog so openly and honestly -

Daisy, Roo and Two said...

You've definitely done well this week! I'm exhausted reading it all though!!

Amy said...

Hey Simone, sounds like you have kept yourself busy this week. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I know that is easy to say and hard to do, believe I know.

I hope your happy pills start working for you soon. The transition period is the hardest part of a new pill.

I just want to give you a hug as even though you have obviously kept yourself busy this week it seems like it has been very hard on you.

Take care Simone!

Oh and I finished the book theif on Friday. I loved it but it took me a while to get through. I will like up my reveiw with Leonie this week.

Amy said...

Hey Simoney,
You post is poignant and honest. What is it with the 'mummy guilt' that we all seem to get doses of it? We can also add to "His mercies are new every morning" that "He is faithful, for he cannot disown himself" (Timothy - I forget exactly where!). Faithful, for it would be impossible for Him to be anything else.

You need a medal for cooking dinner twice. I so felt your tears - been there and done that before (although there was that time when the fish was off and I only realised after cooking a really delicious sweet and sour fish on a REALLY hot night in North QLD...we ended up with cheese on toast because making another meal was just beyond me...and a return to the supermarket to complain about the fish!)
And I think Scrag's headband is just gorgeous!

Maxabella said...

Are you kidding? That reads like an entry for Mother of the Year. You done great, Simoney! What more could you ask for? If I achieved half of what is on your list I would be very happy indeed. x

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