Today I had thought to show you my new slippers.
I planned to share my new Boards on Pinterest...
and other things like that.
But suddenly I find myself sliding down a precipice of doubt.
Doubting myself, my mothering, my intentions.
I guess guilt comes with the mother-job, but still it sucks.
So today I am looking for the things that I have done this week that prove to me I'm giving my best.
That I'm doing OK.
Not perfect... but good enough.
PaisleyJade says on her Loving Linky: "I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what is happening in your life, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is..."
So here come some simple things I can be thankful for, that I did well this week as a mother.
- I initiated getting the TV moved out of Scrag's bedroom.
- He has not watched TV this week during the day at all. Only a DVD with his sister after school some days, and that's it. I can feel good about that.
- I reorganised his toys and his bedroom in the space left by the TV.
- I have expected him to help me pick up his toys this week, instead of doing it all for him
- We did baking together. At least twice.
- I read him lots of stories.
- I invited his friends over to eat the cookies we baked. And then contemplated starting a play group...
- We picked flowers together from our garden.
- I took him for hot chocolate at the Mall
- We read about Swamp Tigers
- I got his hair cut
- I smiled at his flower headband, made for Daffodil Day.
- I ignored the curious stares and sniggers as he clumped proudly around the Mall, his flower band perched on his new 'Do, a smile on his face and gumboots.
- I did not blog while he was at home.
- I went to Miss Fab's Class and did Parent Help. I heard reading.
- I went to Dash's class and volunteered to help on alternate weeks.
- I did my Walking Bus duty even though neither of my kids were on it today.
- I cooked every night. Even when I couldn't be bothered. Which was every night.
- When I burned the dinner, I cooked another one, even though I was crying while doing it.
- I tried to give the cat a worm tablet. Even when she tried to claw me I kept going. When I finally got it down her throat, she spat it out. But I tried.
- The children were kissed and cuddled every day. They went off to school with a wave and a smile.
- The bed was made each day before we had to get into it. Sometimes just before, but still, it was made.
- I washed the dishes by hand twice a day. My dishwasher is broken, but the dishes are clean. Mostly. A few badly washed cups did squeak through.
I really think after listing all this that I didn't do too bad this week.
I should stop being hard on myself, shouldn't I?
I may have new happy pills but I still have to work on breaking nine years of bad habits.
These things take time.
So I am grateful that every day is a new day.
And God's Mercies are new every morning.
He doesn't hold my failures against me.
I am very very thankful for that.