04 May 2011

Is it MAD?

I really should be curled up in bed.
The house is silent (except for the rumble of a purring cat).
Kids asleep (it's late Autumn but one of them is sleeping with the fan on. Go figure).
I am full to the brim with banoffie pie and warm fuzzies after coffee with two of my favourite girlies.
And waiting for me on my nightstand is my new book.
Water for Elephants.

So with hubby still out and the house to myself, what am I doing sitting here at the computer typing away, with no clear purpose, no brilliant witticisms or observations to impart?

Today I nearly wrote a post called "The Laziest Mother I Know."
It was going to be about me and all my shortcomings.
When I'm on a downer I tend to want to bare it all to complete strangers, just so I feel honest.
And I'm kind of on a downer right now, in spite of all the nice things.

And it happens quite regularly; say monthly?
Yep round about the beginning of each month I find myself crying at nothing and everything.
I know some people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) but I wonder if there's anything called Monthly Affective Disorder (MAD) - cos I think I have it.

Yep, that ole dog Depression rears its head with monotonous regularity when *ahem* it's that time of the month.

Today I cried over silly things like a trip to the post office, ants in the cupboard, mess on the floor.
I cried because I am hopeless at doing homework with the kids, playing games with my toddler... I was feeling like the worst kind of mother, good only for birthday parties and taking photos. And I am pretty good at book-snuggling, I guess.

When I am low, I crave affirmation. So then I'll start doing silly things like writing posts every day in the hopes that I will inspire more encouraging comments (love me! my insecurities scream)
... and eventually it could even result in a self-indulgent nonsense like this post.

Righto. It's clearly time I was in bed with my new book.
I hear it's really good. That should help.

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Losing Brownies said...

My mood always dips during that time of the month. I'm glad you have a good book to curl up with. That is one of my favorite pass times when I'm feeling down and out.

Catching the Magic said...

The menstrual cycle is torture for me too - thankfully I haven't had a period in over 2 years!!!! (with all my children my period didn't return till around 15 months post birth!!). Well, Alice is nearly 15 months, so I'm dreading the return...

I too cry at the drop of a hat, usually a day prior to my period, I also have a short fuse and feel overwhelmingly tired, irrational and am very clumsy (lots of spilt drinks).

Hope it passes quick for you x

Lyns said...

I was having two lows in the month, one at ovulation and one just before my period. Oh the joy it bought my family - NOT. Having worked with my doc I have managed to somewhat (not completely) smooth this out so it is not so extreme. Tell you all about it if you want xx

Elizabeth said...

I'm in the same boat, except my bug-bear at the moment is sleep deprivation... oh for a full nights sleep. I don't work well at all without sleep. I hope you start to feel better soon!

Leslie said...

You are such a talented writer. I know that time of the month depression, and I am very familiar with it. ughh.
Water for Elephants is an excelent book! I went to see the movie last week and I loved it too.
Have a great week

meg said...

I get the monthly grumpies/sadness too. Super sucky. Leonie wrote a post about how she beat it by cutting out sugar. Think I need to try it too.

Anonymous said...

chin up girl
your lovely!!!

love and light

Leonie said...

Same problem, same time of the month. We are in sync :)

I'm OVER it all and hate the way it turns me into an insecure, miserable, horrible person.


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