07 August 2012
When you live in a three-ring circus crazy things can happen every day.
I live my life surrounded by clowns and acrobats (who never sit still).
I mean, who else but a funny little clown could crack a window with his chunky butt cheeks (by sitting on the windowsill to get a better view of his big brother and sister playing Club Penguin?) And where else but in this crazy three-ring circus would such an event go completely unnoticed by the people sitting right next to him? Did they not hear the window crack? Did they not see him sitting on the windowsill? Who ever heard of a four-year-old's butt cracking a window?
See what I mean? Strange, silly, funny, weird, crazy things like this happen every day.
Here's the strangest thing that happened at the circus yesterday.
The nine-year-old boy has been getting lectures about personal hygiene from Daddy (for those of you who have yet to discover nine-year-old boys, they tend to be stinky and somewhat allergic to soap).
So when this formerly smelly individual asks for his second shower in a twelve-hour period, and says, "I'm going to get ready like a MAN today!" you jump for joy, turn on the shower and leave him to it.
You don't ask questions. You don't stop to consider what like a man might mean.
You simply rejoice in the sound of your son cleaning himself without a fight.
Then you hear the sound of your husband bellowing, "WHO's BEEN INTO MY SHAVING STUFF???"
At that precise moment your dripping wet nine-year-old scurries down the hall, towel round his waist, lip gushing blood.
Can you blame me that I shrieked right then?
"What have you done? What did you do? Don't tell me you tried to shave????"
Sheepish boy with bleeding lip mutters, Yes I was trying to get ready like a Man.
Like a Man.
My nine-year-old cut himself shaving.
As I sit there pressing a towel to the cut on his bottom lip to stop the bleeding, it is already funny.
"What were you thinking?" I ask him, trying to keep a straight face.
"I wanted to smell good, like Dad," he replies.
Then he lifts his arm and shoves his armpit in my nose: "Sniff it, mum. I used his armpit spray too, see?"
OK, you can stop laughing now. I know, it's hilarious.
My nine year old cut himself shaving...
And now you see what I mean.
I live in a circus populated with funny funny clowns.