Showing posts with label Writers Workshop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writers Workshop. Show all posts
12 January 2012

Ten Cool Things About Motherhood


Ask any honest woman whether motherhood is easy, and she'll tell you, "Heck no!" (or words to that effect).
I've written my fair share of "motherhood woes" posts, and on any given day you'll find me wanting to tear my hair out at some point, but today I want to focus on the the things that make me grateful to be a mum. The aspects of motherhood that make me smile, snigger, snort. "Awww shucks!" moments and warm fuzzies; "Try-to-keep-a-straight-face" incidents and the other coolness that makes it all worth it. So here are...



silly easter theme dinner

1. You're never at a loss for things to fill your weekends
I love weekends with my family.
Am I the only one who in my "single days" used to view the weekend's approach with a mixture of anticipation and dread? Would I be a loser nigel-no-mates sitting home alone or would I find people to hang with/things to do?
As a mother this is never a problem. Weekends are full to the brim with sports fixtures, birthday parties, playdates. And even if you never get to leave the house, don't worry you won't be on your own. You'll always have The Kids to hang out with. When you're a mother you're never alone.


{The Flipside - when you're a mother you're never alone}

Sleepover/Movie Night


2. You get to watch kids movies
I love watching movies with my kids.
Kids movies are so cool! Yet so many adults have never discovered Shrek, Nemo and Lightning McQueen.
My child-free friends look at me blankly when I compare the awesomeness of KungFu Panda 2  to the daftness of Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel.
Some of them haven't even heard of Woody and Buzz Lightyear - can you imagine?
I'm personally looking forward to "Dolphin's Tale" these school holidays. It looks much preferable to the other option - Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked. Really???


{The Flipside: some kids movie makers don't know when to stop... Ice Age 4???}




3. You get to be "the best mother in the world" by doing really simple stuff
I love it when my kids say I'm the best mum in the world. It doesn't take much.
You decide to let the kids sleepover in one room; you tell them they can have a "movie night". You say "I'll pop you some popcorn and make you icecream sodas..."
Suddenly you are the best mother in the world.
When you walk in with the tray, they can't stop telling you how awesome you are.


{The Flipside: You can just as easily become the meanest mother in the world by doing equally simple stuff like saying "no"}



super diaper baby - a classic children's book


4. You get to enjoy children's literature all over again
I love childrens books. I love the colourful illustrations, the clever rhymes, the humorous life lessons.
Childhood favourites like Where the Wild Things Are and Hairy McLary are now joined by new classics like The Gruffalo and Fancy Nancy. Perfect for reading out loud. Perfect for snuggling up with. And as your babies grow you can introduce them to your old favourites Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, CS Lewis. While they introduce you to Captain Underpants and Super Diaper Baby. Nothing is better on a rainy night than snuggling in between your kids with a book to share.

{The Flipside: There is no Flipside - just Books and Smiles all the way}



Dust Bunny - scary no longer

5. Disgusting stuff no longer freaks you out
I love that my kids make me braver than I used to be.
So what if I'm scared of creepy crawlies and flying things in the house? As a mother, you learn to show no fear and get good at being the bug-catcher/dead-bird disposer.
Head Lice. Ugh. Don't worry, after a few infestations you'll be very matter-of fact as you chat to your friend while killing nits with your nit-zapper.
Vomitous bedding, pooey undies, bloody gashes will all lose their horror.
This is the legacy of motherhood - an iron-clad stomach and bravery of Oscar-winning proportions.


{The Flipside: You will be dealing with bugs, birds, gashes, vomit, poo and nits on a regular basis. It just comes with the territory}



6. You have a never-ending supply of hugs and kisses
I love snuggles and kisses from my kids.
When I need a hug there's a ready supply of soft squirmy bodies to snuggle and sweet velvet cheeks to kiss. Its surprising how even big nine-year-old boys still love to cuddle their mummies {as long as nobody's looking}. There's nothing quite as calming as a cuddle and when you're a mother you get cuddles for life.


{The Flipside: You will usually find those same little bodies that love to hug you squirming into your bed in the wee small hours of the morning for a snuggle. You'll never find a bed big enough for everyone}



7. Your days are coloured by a steady stream of hilarious anecdotes
I love the daft things my kids say and do. Man, they're funny.
Kids are a fantastic source of amusement aren't they? Don't they say the darndest things?  Do the strangest things? Make you want to pee yourself laughing while you try desperately to keep a straight-and-serious face? I mean, you really could write a bestselling comedy series, if only you could remember all of their witty sayings and hilarious conversations.


{The Flipside: You'll never remember them word-for-word, even if you try to write it all down. Blame it on Nappy Brain, or the mysterious lack of pens, whatever. Plus, the book's already been written.}


8. You learn a lot
I love all the funny stuff I've learnt from my kids.
Its surprising how much I don't actually know. And how much my kids know more than me.
For instance, did you know that tropical fruit bubblegum is healthy for you? Yes, it is. It has "fruit" in it, you see. So it can count for one of your 5+ a Day.
Oh and did you also know that Germany makes the fastest cars in the world, not Italy.
Yes indeed. Ethan next door said so.
What about this one I heard from my daughter, it was so funny. She said it just yesterday... what was it again...? Oh darn I forgot, but it was really good, honest.
You learn a lot of stuff from your kids. Stuff you never knew you didn't know.


{The Flipside: You learn a lot. From your kids.}




9. You lose your self-consciousness
I love that my kids push me out of my comfort zone.
This process begins with pregnancy and childbirth and continues on indefinitely. I was so shy as a girl that I had perfected the art of getting into my pj's without showing my sisters any skin, a skill I took with me into adulthood. But by the time my first baby was two weeks old, I was standing out on my mum's front porch pumping milk out of my boob, completely unselfconscious. It's just a boob, right?

My kids always push me to try new things, to break out of my shell and play.  
"Come on mum!" they encourage me, eager for me to join them splashing in the water or whizzing down the hill on a luge.
Where once I might have been too worried about the way my body looks in a swimsuit, for my kids sake I'll  don my bikini long-sleeved rash top 'n' shorts and join them in the water. Ignore how far my butt sticks out when seated on a bike and just go for a ride. 


{The Flipside: You never get a chance to be self-conscious. As a mother "privacy" is a distant dream. Sitting on the toilet is an open invitation for a deep and meaningful. Eventually this improves...}




10. You learn a lot
What? Have I already said that one? Well let me say it again. You learn A LOT. 
About yourself, about life, about human nature, about God, and about what really matters and what really doesn't.


Every day you learn something whether you like it or not.
You learn that you actually are like your mother, after all.
You learn that your own mother did a helluva lot more for you than you realised. (The fact that you can walk around on two feet and take yourself to the loo is thanks to her, for starters)
You learn about unconditional love
You discover how a kid can make you SO MAD you want to scream - but at the same time you love them SO MUCH that if a rabid dog appeared right at that moment, you would wrestle it to the ground to protect that child you are so mad at.


You learn that you never knew what tiredness was until you were a mother.
You never knew what "busy" was until you were a mother.
You never realised how self-centred you were until you had a little bundle that demanded 24-7 care, 7-days-a-week, 365-days-a-year - no days off. 
You never understood that when you have a child, your heart begins to bleed for all the sad neglected little people in the world. You realise why your mum cried when she watched Home Alone.




When you are a mother the learning never stops.
A wise man once said "We think we are there to help our kids grow up; actually they are there to help us grow up."




I love that I get to be mother to three precious human beings.
Who knows what they could be, who they could become?
Who knows how many lives might be touched, helped, blessed through them.
Motherhood is intense. It's tiring. It's often thankless, sometimes sleepless, rarely glamorous.
But its also the only job in the world that nobody else can do.
I am irreplaceable.
I am the only mother my three children will ever have. 
How's that for job security?



{The Flipside: No Days Off. Sigh.}








Mama’s Losin’ It

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29 December 2011

A Year in Twelve Stories


With a mere two days left of 2011 I figured it might be time for a bit of reminiscing and look-backing over the year. It's been pretty quiet on the blogging front lately as people (including me) abandon their computers for their real lives.


But when Mama Kat's Writing Prompts landed in my inbox this week, I knew straight away what I had to do...
1.) This year in blog posts...choose a favorite post from each month of 2011 and share. 


So here it comes. My year in Blog Posts...


January: This is My Life
This post is one of my all-time favourites.
It sums up the joy and the reality of my life. Plus I had fun playing with vintage effects in Photoscape.



This post records a fantastic weekend with great company in one of the sweetest spots on earth - a classic Kiwi bach with my friend Gail and family. We also got to hang out with a bunch of other fab blog-friends. One of my favourite weekends of the year in spite of storms, landslides and other obstacles.


We faced a crisis with one of our children, something which stretched us to our limits and called for wisdom and skill as parents that seemed beyond us. This post was my stake in the ground, a confession of faith that things would turn around. A reminder to myself of miracles past. I felt as if a weight had lifted after I wrote this.


Ahhh this one. The one where I finally realise (just one) of my glaring faults and admit it to my husband, my children and the world. And I discovered that there's nothing quite as sweet as humble pie.


I relaunched my party linky. Did you know I am party mad and I have a linky to match? I am and I do. I thought I'd throw this one in just in case you are party mad yourself and you didn't know about my linky. I thought you'd want to know, so you can link up your fab parties.




This was fun and pretty silly. I figured out how to do my first ever (one and only) vlog. Of course my nutso kids get in on the act and prove to the world what geniuses I am raising.



July: Tangled Party
I can't ignore this party post and the others which go along with it - the how-tos, the printables, the Tower cake tutorial... I pretty much spent all of July thinking "Tangled". The outcome was rather fab, I must say - one of my best parties ever.




August: Last Cab off the Rank (My Bloggy Meetup Post)
A rather clumsy post-title I must admit, but this post highlights one of my favourite days in August. Bloggers from Auckland, Whangarei and even Wellington met up for lunch and hours of chatter. What could be sweeter? I love my bloggy pals. Many have become real-life friends and are very dear to me. I'm hoping that 2012 will bring many more bloggy meetups.




September: 10 Tips for Surviving Travel with Kids
This was a post I had been wanting to write for some time... and it was particularly appropriate because later in September I had to take my own advice and get prepared for a marathon 30-hours of travel from Auckland to England.




October: Postcard from Ireland
While we were in the UK, I got to fulfill a life-long dream and travel  to Ireland for a romantic 3-day getaway. We stayed at a picturesque village on the Cork coast and had a wonderful time. I can tick "Go to Ireland" off my bucket list, but have to add right back in, "Go BACK to Ireland".

November: A Plain Vanilla Story
I finally shared my "faith journey" here on my blog. Gulp.



December: Simply Loving Christmas
Early in the month I found my Christmas spirit, and it lasted all December. I finally figured out how to really enjoy Christmas. This has been my favourite Christmas Season ever. I was relaxed. We did cool things as a family. We were spontaneous. I spent time with people I love. We tried new things. We ignored some old traditions that didn't fit us any more. And most of all we focused on what Christmas is really all about.


..........................
When I look back over this list of posts there's a bit of deepness going on here.
We weathered some storms, faced down some giants and lived to tell the tale.
All in all I'd say we've come through stronger.

I am ready to face a new year, with a relaxed attitude and some new insights into my blindspots.
In 2012 I plan to be led less by my unreliable feelings, and instead becoming more decided about doing things which will make me and my family healthier and happier.

So this is "See Ya Later" from me for 2011.
I hope you have a fab New Years Eve, and I'll see you all again in 2012.
When you will hear me say, Oh crap, next year I turn 44. Oh help, next year I'll be mother to an 11-year-old.
It's gonna be F.U.N.
♥ 






Mama’s Losin’ It
17 November 2011

The Seven Wonders of My World



For Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writers Workshop, Writing Prompt 1.) List your life's Seven Wonders. Describe the most amazing 7 things you've seen with your own two eyes.
........


I have never seen the Pyramids or the Taj Mahal.
I have no plans to visit Machu Pichu or the Great Wall of China any time soon, though I'm sure they are impressive.
I have actually walked around the Colosseum, in Rome.
But this post is not about that.
The Official Seven Wonders don't make it to my list, though the Colosseum was pretty amazing.
What are the seven wonders of my World?
In coming up with my list, I had to ask myself, What things have I seen that rocked my world and changed me forever?
What seven things did I see, only to never be the same again?
My seven Wonders are not so world-famous and may be Wonder-ful only to me.
But here they are...


I was five years old and had been reading for over a year already. Somebody gave me this book, my first book without pictures. I looked inside and found words. Words only. Words painting a wonderful magical story about the Folk of the Faraway Tree and some adventurous children. I was hooked. I couldn't put it down. Bedtime came, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. So I got up and quietly opened my dresser draw, took out some clothes, stuffed them under my door (so no light would show - wasn't I sneaky?) and read and read and read.

"I wonder if I can finish this book in one night?" I asked myself.
Turns out I could.
Forgetting that I was meant to be asleep hours ago I ran to the lounge to share my great achievement with my parents. Who were less than excited.
And so began my life as "Simone-with-her-nose-stuck-in-a-book". That was the first of many all-nighters. My  career as Mrs Readalot began with that first Enid Blyton Book.



I was sixteen and off to Canada all by myself to stay with my aunty and uncle for a year. Tearfully I hugged my parents goodbye and followed the unaccompanied-minor-helper through customs.
I wouldn't see my family for a year; more tears fell as I settled into my seat. What had I done? What was I thinking, a small-town girl from New Plymouth going halfway round the world by herself?
I was consumed in misery and homesickness... until the wheels left the ground.
Through my window the city grew smaller and smaller until it was in perfect miniature. Tiny cars driving down tiny roads past tiny houses... and then nothing but a sea of clouds.
Up, up we went... and I was hooked.
Its a life of travelling for me, I decided.

"I wonder where else I could go?"
The travel bug bit me hard and I made it my goal to fill my passport with stamps. Its something I'm still working on.
My love of travel has never diminished and neither has the thrill of takeoff.

  • My Travel Stories found here {scroll down, keep scrolling - they're there}



I am not recommending you watch this movie. Truly. Don't watch it.
I saw it when I was twenty-four, a working-class white girl just starting out a new career in youth work.
This movie shocked me and rocked my world to its very foundations.
It was hideous. Awful. Terrible. And set in my town.
I could not stop the tears from falling. Hours after the credits had rolled I was still sobbing, home on my couch, unable to shake the sense that there were children tonight living through this movie.
It was not Hollywood, it was real.
And I could not ignore it.

"I wonder if you could use me, God, to help kids like that?" I prayed.
Seeing this movie set in motion a chain of events that changed my life, and the lives of many others.

  • The Story of what I did about it Here



This guy wandered across my path when I was twenty-six.
From the minute I clocked him, I thought he was cute.
"I wonder how old he is?" was my first thought. Ahhh, only twenty-two. Never mind.
A few years later, it turned out that age was not so important.
The questions continued...

"I wonder if he'd ever like me?"
"I wonder if he'll ask me out?"
"I wonder if he's a good kisser?"
"I wonder if he'll ask me to marry him?"
"I wonder where we'll live?"
"I wonder what our kids will be like?"
"I wonder where our next adventure will take us?"
"I wonder what he'll get me for my birthday on Saturday?"

He still keeps me wondering...
...and it fills me with wonder that I, Simone-with-her-nose-stuck-in-a-book, married him, Rory-the-hot-hunky-Geordie {a very good kisser}.
  • The Story of our romance Here



I hadn't even laid eyes on him when this boy changed my world. In the panic of the emergency caesarian, my glasses got left behind. All I could see was a blur held at the end of the bed, "It's a boy!" the doctor said, and they whisked him off to do those Apgar tests.
Strapped to the operating table I couldn't wipe away the tears that would not stop falling.
"He's in the world!" I whispered, wonderingly.

Later, we gazed down at our bundle and wondered what he would be as he grew up.
Nothing about the world looked the same once he was born.
Its a wonder, alright.

  • The Story of this baby here


I pushed this girl out myself.
I had wondered if I could ever do it, if my body knew what to do, to give birth to a baby.
The first time things had gone so wrong.
But I did it. A VBAC. My second baby but somehow also My First.
"I can't believe it!" were my words as I looked down at her lying on me.
A head full of black hair, shining eyes wide open, drinking in the world, blinking in the light.
I felt like superwoman. This child came from me, birthed by me. I finally did it and survived.
Birthing her gave me confidence that I could do anything.
Wonderful.
  • The Story of her birth Here


I sometimes wonder where we'd be if we hadn't decided to "go for number three".
Everything seemed to be against it.
Dash was praying for a baby brother and had been for nearly two years.
When we finally made the leap, Daddy wanted to keep the gender "a surprise".
Nine long months of wondering.
When they pulled him out and said, "Its a boy" again, I burst into tears.
Tears often accompany seeing Wonders.
This baby is my full-stop.
We now have the complete set.
This baby changed us all by completing our family.
Just a few hours old he looked into my eyes and I felt that connection, like he knew me.
A wonderful miracle.
  • The Story of how we nearly didn't have number three Here

........................................
Some things are full of so much Wonder they will fill our lives for years to come. The buzz of finding what makes your heart sing. The joy of realising you can make a difference. The thrill of connection when you lay eyes on The One For You. The first moment laying eyes on your new baby - whether your first or your last - more amazing than any Taj Mahal or Colosseum.

These are the Wonders of my life.





Mama’s Losin’ It
02 November 2011

Frequently Asked Questions

(for When I'm Famous)

"Mummy am I famous?" my daughter asks me sometimes.
Sure, honey, I tell her. You're famous on my blog.

I have a sneaking suspicion that deep down most of us would quite like to be a bit famous. Respected for something. Significant somehow. Maybe not to the point where the Paparazzi camp outside our gate and chase us down the street. Perhaps anonymity has its advantages when you're shopping for new undies. Or when you faceplant in front of the School Principal.

But if I ever get famous, I'm sure these are the questions the media will most want to know...


Q: How do you keep yourself looking so fabulous at your age? {Oh wait. that was a question for Sammy over at Cherished. Sorry.} Your question is, Will you consider Botox if things get much worse?

A: Gah. How Rude! Each line on my face tells a story you know. Every scar, every wrinkle, the stories they could tell...


Q: Yes, well we haven't got all day. You say you led a sheltered life prior to marrying your husband and had been on the shelf for a while. How did you ever manage to bag yourself a hot toy boy?
A: Why, by my astounding good looks and great personality of course. That and the attraction of my millions hidden offshore... I'm joking! For goodness sake, it was just meant to be or something. How else does a hot young party boy fall for a goody-goody spinster? Destiny. True Love. Take your pick.



Q:Is it true that the movie 40-Year-old Virgin was based on your life?
A:What?! No way. You've got it all wrong. I was a thirty year old virgin. That's completely different! Where do you people get this stuff?


Q: OK. So then tell us, are the rumours true? Are you in fact pregnant again?
A:What the? Are you kidding me? I am not pregnant, OK?! I just had three really big babies late in life. Trauma like that takes its toll on a woman's body you know.



Q: There is a rumour that you rose to fame as a blogger while your children spent hours watching Sky TV. What do you have to say about that?
A:  I deny that completely. We got rid of Sky TV months ago. Now they watch DVDs. Um, I mean, now I blog while they are asleep. Or at school and kindy... I'm trying, I really am.


Q: Is it true that you had to have an intervention for your blog addiction? That you once spent several days without the internet and had to go cold turkey?
A:  I deny everything. I admit nothing. I have no blog addiction.





QIs it true that you sometimes craft dust bunnies from the dust balls that form in your hallway while you are neglecting the housework, blogging?
A:  No! That is an ugly rumour spread by people who are jealous of my runaway success. I was joking when I said that, truly I was.

Q: So then what is the relationship between you and your cleaner?
A:  I love her, I couldn't live without her... I would have to spend valuable blogging time scrubbing the loo....

Q: Aha! So you admit to having a cleaner?
A:  I... what? Did you just trap me? OK, yes! I admit it, once a week a poor cash-strapped student comes and cleans my bathroom and vacuums up the dust bunnies. There. I said it. I have a cleaner. Are you happy now?

Q: So there are no actual fluffy bunnies handcrafted from your dust balls? No dust-bunny creations for sale on Etsy or Felt?
A:  No. No dust bunnies. Just a cleaner.


Q: So what do you actually do all day? If you don't do housework? I mean, you obviously don't exercise or take much time for a skin-care regime... so how do you fill those long empty days???
A:  Um... I write, I fiddle with my blog design, I play around with effects in Photoscape, I read other people's blogs, I leave comments, I work on my FREE party invitation website, I pin things on Pinterest ...


Q: You spend all that time on the computer? Is that your final answer?
A:  No wait! I can think of other stuff... Um...



Q: Oh-kayyy. Well you lead a truly fascinating life. Ahem. Is that the time? Gotta run, I need to interview someone famous AND interesting. Widge has a puppy AND a day job...
A:  Hey! I'm interesting! Come back! I can tell you about the time I sliced head open on a falling cake plate... or the time I tripped over and swore in front of my kids' school principal... hello? Anyone there? Man I really gotta get some better work stories.



Yeah, I think maybe I'm better off not being famous. That media scrutiny can be a bugger.
27 October 2011

22 Things I've Done to Avoid Exercise


Today is a beautiful spring day and really, I should not be here cooped up inside, hunched over my computer writing this post. Yet here I am.

The excuses I have for not exercising are pathetic. The opportunities for exercise are plenty.
I have an expired gym membership, neglected then abandoned.
A beautiful bush walkway, beside a gurgling stream conveniently at the end of my street.
I even have a Wii-Fit game complete with heart rate monitor and stretchy band, still in its packaging.
Waiting. Hoping that one day I will get up off my lazy ass, switch off the computer and do something about my fitness.

The lengths to which my lazy ass will go to avoid shrinkage are endless.
And here are some of them, for your reading pleasure...



1. I have upcycled broken furniture
2. I have ironed my tea-towels. Really.
3. I have baked cookies (which really doesn't help).
4. I have martha-ised my laundry cupboard.
5. I have looked for clips of Bear Grylls on YouTube..
6. I have had coffee with friends. A lot.
7. I have started a playgroup at my house. And ended up in A&E.


8. I have hand-stitched cushions for my windowseat
9. I have painted my bedroom. And other rooms.
10. I have created new invitations for my FREE Kids Party Invitation Website (shameless plug)
11. I have taken photographs of my garden. And blogged about it.
12. I have clipped my toenails. I did not blog about that.
13. I have created a website for my son's Bear Grylls {Boy vs. Wild}party. From scratch.
14. I have pinned pretty things on Pinterest.
15. I have read your blogs. More than you know.


16. I started a Bloggy Book Club. And read lots of books. Of course.
17. I have rearranged my house. Several times.
18. I have fiddled with my blog design. Endlessly.
19. I have signed up to PicYou and played with photo effects.


20. I have wasted time on FaceBook. Commenting on status updates. Tagging photos. You know.
21. I made a fluffy bunny out of dust balls from my hallway. Nah not really. But I could have.
22. I have spent the morning writing this post and finding photos to match.

Now can you see why my ass looks like this?


.................................


For Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writers Workshop. Writing prompt 1.) Last week we wrote about what we have never done...this week write a list of 22 things you HAVE done.