21 June 2012

Scrag's Guide to Making Girls Scream

by SCRAG a.k.a. Scraggadag a.k.a. SquidRing a.k.a. Little Bruvver

Hey lads, today I'm gonna share with you my favourite ways to make girls scream. Actually girls scream pretty easy, but it's way fun to gross your sister out and annoy her. It's part of our job as Little Bruvvers.
So here's my Five Top Tips for getting a guaranteed reaction every time...

1. Leaking in the Loo 
[Scream Factor: 4]

Forget leaving the toilet seat up, that's old news and will only get a groan. If you want a really good scream, make sure you leave the seat DOWN, and then while you're standing there doing your business be certain to look everywhere except where you're aiming. Don't flush, whatever you do. Just leave puddles on the seat and floor, the perfect booby trap. You can bet that when your sister stumbles in without looking, she will SCREAM when her socks get wet and her butt lands in the puddle you left on the seat.

[WARNING: This booby trap may also snag your mum or dad. Be prepared for a growling.]

2. MakeUp Mayhem
[Scream Factor: 3.5]

If you really want to annoy your sister, you are guaranteed a scream if you sneak into her bedroom and ransack her makeup. Stick your fingers in and smear it all over your face, making sure that what's left is completely unusable. Then go and show her your artistry (a snotty nose really adds to the overall effect). It doesn't matter that it's only *play makeup* - when your sister sees what is left of her treasure she is sure to scream really big.

3. Butt Cracks Galore
[Scream Factor: 2]

This one is fun for an average everyday scream, without any danger of trouble from your mama. Just make sure not to pull your pants up properly - the sight of your little butt crack in your sister's face will get a scream of *Oh that's disgusting! I can see your butt!* every time. He he he.

4. Nose like a Dripping Tap
[Scream Factor: 3]

Whatever you do, don't blow your nose. Ignore the boxes of tissues your mama leaves handily around the house. When you sit at the table next to your sister, let the "green man" bubble out your left nostril. When she starts to say *Oh gross* use your sleeve to wipe the snot across your face. She will start to scream, I guarantee.

[NOTE: to increase this reaction to a Scream Factor 4, try leaning in for a kiss. He he he]

5. Picking a Winner for Dinner
[Scream Factor: 5+++]

Wait until your sister has a bunch of friends over. When they notice your crusty nostrils, it's time to strike. Casually remove a morsel of dried booger from your nose and the screaming will start.
Pop it in your mouth, chew and smile, and they will go ballistic.
The screams will be heard all across town, I guarantee.
For even more fun, try chasing them and watch them scatter in every direction screaming, *Booger Monster! Booger Monster!*
Yum Yum. Salty. He he he. 

I hope you have fun tormenting your sister with my Handy Hints.
Tune in next time for Ways to Get out of Eating your Dinner....

Also By Scrag:

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